Archive for July, 2009
Vacation
Posted on 17. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
Today begins my first day of vacation! W00t!
Actually, I started my vacation as soon as I left the office on Thursday (I can’t really tell you for sure because I wrote this earlier in the week).
So I’m trying something new this year. I’ve heard a few leaders in ministry talk about always taking two weeks of vacation when they get the chance. Their reasoning is that you don’t really get relaxed and unplugged until after you’ve been away for four or five days and for most people that’s when their vacation is almost over.
Well, I don’t really have enough vacation time to take two weeks in a row and still have time to take off at other times of the year. However, I decided to try my own version of this strategy. Next week Sara and I are flying to Playa De Carmen to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary in style. Four nights and five days in a luxurious all-inclusive resort. I can’t freaking wait! Sara and I just don’t vacation like this very often.
The last thing I wanted was to be up until 3:00 AM the morning of trying to get out those last emails before heading off for vacation. So I decided that I would take a few days off before we leave for Mexico. Today is Friday and I’m officially on vacation. Sara and I don’t leave until Thursday. Is that awesome or what? I will actually come to church on Sunday where it will be work as usual. However it won’t be filled with emails and meetings, just hanging out with teams and families.
So, I’ll let you know how it goes.
How about you? How do you vacation? What’s been the best, most restful and relaxing vacation you’ve taken?
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Dont’ be stupid #6
Posted on 16. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
If you already, read my disclaimer about this series. This series is a no nonsense approach about compromising situations that may cost you everything.
Okay, I’m done. As my friend Sam Luce would say, I’m done “Bustin’ your chops!”
I felt these posts needed to be written. Why? Because we have the uncanny ability to be stupid. Many times in our lives have we shaken our heads and said, “how could I have been so stupid?” or “that was so stupid!” Really. Even with our complexity and ability to do some pretty incredible things, we certainly can be stupid.
The really stupid thing though is not talking about it. An affair could be one decision away. Many people never intended to have an affair. They just made poor (stupid) decisions and one thing led to another. Our ministry and influence can be lost or severely tarnished by an inappropriate situation with another person or with a child. The crazy thing is that all of these things can be totally avoided. There could be a 100% success rate. It’s through honest and realistic accountability.
So, let’s do this together. Let’s avoid the stupidity of foolish decisions and compromising situations. Let’s be open and honest with those who are close to us and create realistic boundaries that will keep us safe. let’s attempt to be smart!
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Don’t be stupid #5
Posted on 16. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
If you already, read my disclaimer about this series. This series is a no nonsense approach about compromising situations that may cost you everything.
Don’t live a life without accountability.
I forgot how important this was! I had so much accountability around my life through high school and college. However, once I went into full time ministry I no longer had any real accountability in my life. It wasn’t until a year and a half ago when I interviewed at Gateway and another church in Nashville that anyone asked me how my relationship with God was. I’d served at three churches previously and I’d never been asked. Two of the churches did do things at times that were conducive to growth, but there was no accountability.
Now I’m surrounded with accountability and I’m growing more than I have in years. My wife has told me on several occasions that I’m becoming a better version of myself. I do attribute that to the accountability I live under.
There have been many years of ministry where I was starving spiritually and I really didn’t have much inward or outward motivation to change. Accountability is a good thing. It drives us to improve and protects us from doing something utterly foolish. I’ve done it both ways and I’m resolved that I will not ministry outside the umbrella of acountability again. You shouldn’t either.
What really prompted me to write this post was watching a video of Ted and Gale Haggard at Elevate Church. Here was a guy who was a significant leader in THE CHURCH. He had something he had been struggling with for years. Unfortunately for him, his family and his church, he didn’t have the propper accountability to keep him out of danger.
You know exactly what kind of accountability you need. You know what your struggle is. You know what could lead to your downfall. Too often we’re afraid for anyone else to know what that struggle is. Ironically, someone else knowing could be the very thing keeping you from falling. You know where you need accountability. Don’t be stupid. Invite someone in before it’s too late!
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Lock-In graphic
Posted on 15. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
We’re doing a lock-in just before school starts. We’re a little behind the eight ball. I designed two graphics that we’d use on the web and post cards to promote. What do you think? Which do you like?
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Don’t be stupid #4
Posted on 15. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
If you already, read my disclaimer about this series. This series is a no nonsense approach about compromising situations that may cost you everything.
Don’t be alone with a child.
At all the churches I’ve been at, this has been one of the cardnal rules for ministry. If you neglect this one, I’m not even going to tell you how stupid you are.
Sometimes we have that last parents who lingers leaving their kids waiting. I want to honor my volunteers and send them home as soon as they can, but I’ll keep at least one to hang around with me until the parent comes. Sometimes this has been inconvenient for me and at other times this has been inconvenient to the parents. That’s okay, its a boundary worth protecting. I’ve never had a parent complain, usually they’re gratefull for the safeguards.
My wife teaches piano lessens. She requires the parents to stay during the lessons. Why? Because she knows an allegation could ruin my ministry and influence. It may seem a little over-the-top, but my calling to ministry is worth it.
I’ll take one more uncomfortable step. I’ve met a lot of student pastors who make efforts to connect with kids in their ministry. Often they’ll swing by to pick them up to take them to a movie or to hang out. I’m the first to admit that I’m no expert in student ministry, but does this not sound wreckless to anyone else. Most of the sex scandle surrounding the Catholic church has reolved around young middle school aged boys and girls. I would think this would make us more cautious. Catholic or not, it’s a blemish we wear as most people see no difference between protestant and Catholic churches. Yeah, this is probably going to cramp your style, but I think it’s worth it. I had a high school boy that I invested in a lot a few years ago. Before he could drive it was a pain getting together with him becasue I always had to arrange for his parents to drop him off or I’d have to bring Sara along. Just my opinions though. I love what you do too much to see you lose it all.
So, keep your guard up. Don’t be stupid. Don’t be alone with a child. Ever.
Unless it’s your own.
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LAUNCH. What do you think?
Posted on 14. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
Here’s an initial design of LAUNCH, the kids program you helped me name yesterday?
The program is being targeted to kids. It’s actually for all kids 5th grade and under, but I wanted to really target those 4th and 5th grade boys to get them excited about it. This is just the image on the front.
I got the font here.
I got the background here.
I bought the rocket here
I used some grunge brushes (I downloaded them from the web for free) to make the text/rocket look old and dirty up the background.
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Don’t be stupid #3
Posted on 14. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
If you already, read my disclaimer about this series. This series is a no nonsense approach about compromising situations that may cost you everything.
Don’t be alone with someone of the opposite sex.
This has been a rule of ours for the last ten years. Our? Yeah, it’s a rule my wife and I have for each other. I don’t meet a woman for coffee at Starbucks. I don’t certainly don’t meet with a woman for a meal at a restaurant. I never ride alone in a car with a woman. If working late and I’m at the office alone and there’s a female staff person shows up… I leave. If I’m meeting with a female in my office, I do so with the door open or in full view of the window.
Why?
Read Ryan’s post about the steps to adultery. Maybe nothing will ever happen, but allegations or rumors will ruin you as well. Seriously, there is nothing else in the world that I would rather do. I love my job too much. I love my family too much. It’s not worth it.
What concerns me is that some churches are moving away from these types of “rules.” These are the same churches that are taking ministry risks and becoming more relevant to their communities. I don’t know if they’re abandoning these “rules” to shake off anything that feel “traditional.” I love ministries that take risks, we need more. But abandoning boundaries meant to keep us safe is stupid. Don’t be stupid.
Yes, it can be incredibly inconvenient, but it isn’t worth it. I once interviewed at a church that didn’t feel the same way. They actually felt our “rules” would get in the way of ministry. My wife actually got in an uncomfortable argument with the guy who would have been my boss. Go Sara!
So, if you’ve not really considered your policy of being alone with someone of the opposite sex, you should give it some thought. It may keep you in ministry a little longer. Regardless of how you feel, many inappropriate relationships begin because of unchecked alone time.
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Help with a name!
Posted on 13. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
Hey, I need a name for a two day event. I could use some of your ideas.
We’re doing a leadership event at our church called Advance. It’s a two day retreat over a Friday and Saturday. In the past we’ve offered childcare, but it’s been kinda lame. This year we’re making it an event geared to events. The strategy is that if the kids want to go, the paretns will be more likely to want to attend. We’ll do movies, pizza, crafts, games, water events, inflatable slides and such.
What can I call it that the name alone is energetic and fun sounding… but doesn’t sound dorky or too little kiddy. This will be geared to 4 year old through 5th graders. We’ll have a “Jr.” version for 3 and 4 year olds and we provide childcare for babies.
So, what do you think?
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Dont’ be stupid #2
Posted on 13. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
If you didn’t catch it yet, read my first post about not being stupid yesterday. This series is a no nonsense approach about compromising situations that may cost you everything.
Disclaimer: I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. That’s okay. Feel free to comment and let me know why you disagree. I may disagree with you further or we may just agree to disagree. That’s okay. Many of the things I’m addressing in my posts are my opinions and my personal rules and philosophies. Do with them what you want.
But here’s what is most important. You’re too important to throw it all away. There aren’t enough of us doing what we do and to lose you becasue of a compromising (stupid) situation makes me angry. The things I write about might “cramp your style.” So what. This world needs you too much. We can’t afford to lose you to sexual misconduct or even just an allegation. Your calling is too precious. We protect the things that are important to us. Likewise, we should be more protective of our callings.
You may not change anything you do after reading this, but hopefully it will cause you to at least rethink the way you approach certain situations. The enemy is looking for ANYTHING to remove you and your influence. Don’t give him an opportunity.
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Don’t be stupid
Posted on 13. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.
Last week Ryan Frank wrote about the steps that lead to adultry. Man, I’m so glad he wrote that. It’s something all of us need to hear and something that isn’t communicating often enough.
If you haven’t read it, do it now. No seriously, do it now.
I’d been thinking about a series of posts dedicated to the compromising situations that we sometimes get ourselves into. Ryan inspired me to go ahead and get these posts out.
I’m going to be a little more blunt than normal only because these issues can change our lives forever… not in the good way.
So, have you read Ryan’s post yet?
If you read it and have said to yourself, that will never happen to me or that could never happen to me, I’ve got news for you. You’re stupid.
Yeah, that’s right. I just called you stupid. I’ve too many heroes in my life, heroes in the faith lose it all becasue of an inappropriate relationship. Some of them incredibly deceptive lasting for years and some of them being a chance opportunity that ruined everything. Everyone of those people would tell you that they never expected it to happen to them. But it did and it rocked their worlds. I know I shouldn’t compare, but when I look at them and then I look at me I realized that if they could mess it all up, I could to. The enemy would love nothing more to ruin my impact for the kingdom by destroying my reputation and family.
If you’re smart, you’ll read that list again and put up safeguards to keep you from getting in compromising situations. Be careful. Don’t be stupid.
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