Month: June 2014

Your kid needs counseling

Seriously, your kids need counseling and this isn’t meant as an insult to you as their parent. Yesterday I wrote about how failure as a parent is inevitable. Parents can’t be awesome all the time. Even the best parents miss the mark and cause damage that lasts.

Recently my wife and I have come into contact with several incredible families with messed up kids. These kids aren’t necessarily messed up because of bad parenting, but because people are broken and things happen. Sometimes this is unavoidable. As a result, my wife and I had a brilliant idea. We’re working hard to give our kids great opportunities. I don’t know if we’ll be able to pay all of their college, but we’re going to do all that we can. However, we’ve thought that an incredible investment that we can give our kids upon graduation from High School or maybe College is several thousand dollars for counseling. Counseling to help them fix, cope with and overcome the ways we might have broken them through our parenting.

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Failing as a parent

Are you ready for a full dose of reality?

Failure as a parent in inevitable. Stop living in a dream world, you’re not as great of a parent as you think you are. Okay, enough with the negativity.

Recently I’ve become aware of several parenting “misses.” I’ve encountered multiple people who have experienced total parenting failures, either as parents or as kids of parents. You’re probably thinking, “why is this such a surprise? Just take a walk around your block and you’ll find more parenting failures than you can count.”

No, what has raised my awareness of this issue is that in every case, the parenting disasters (or near disasters) have happened in incredibly loving, Christ-centered homes. From my limited viewpoint, I didn’t see any blatant sin or negative behaviors that would lead to these incidents, but they happened anyway.

I think that these situations are very challenging for us Christians. When stuff happens, we start to look for the cause. We try to justify what behaviors happened that caused this. We try to sniff out the dysfunction. As a result, we end up hurting rather than healing and we make the situation worse, even in our sincere efforts to “help.”

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