I’m continuing to engage the conversation this week about how we can protect kids from the dangers of pornography and sex outside of God’s plan. One of the topics that seem central to this is the sex talk. The one parents have with their kids. Yesterday I mentioned that many parents may be waiting too late to have the sex talk as kids are already over-exposed to sex by the time parents muster up the guts to have the conversation.
However, a few months ago I came across a site where I read the absolute best advice I’ve ever heard about the sex talk.
The advices to parents was: Don’t have the sex talk with your kids!
You’re probably thinking, “what? I thought that was the problem.” I wasn’t finished. There’s more.
Don’t have the sex talk with your kids! Have thousands of sex talks with your kids!
I think most parents dread the talk. They see it as a right of passage, something they have to get through. Once they’ve done it, they’veÂ conqueredÂ it. And that’s part of the problem.
There’s not “a sex talk.” There are hundreds of sex talks. No matter how thorough you are, you can’t get it all in. I imagine the very first time they learn this stuff from their parents, their brain isn’t even processing questions. Their mind is being blown away and they’re more in a state of shock and disgust. Their questions are going to come later. Days later. Weeks later. Years later. If all the parents are looking to simply conquer the sex talk, who’s going to answer the questions when they come. If moms and dads don’t continue toÂ initiateÂ the sex talks, our kids aren’t going to feel completely safe asking theÂ embarrassingÂ questions.
I’m not writing all of this as someone who’s done this, but I remember being a teenager with questions without really knowing where to get answers. Kids need this. Below is aÂ phenomenalÂ video I came across about sex talks, especially the first sex talk. It’s a parenting blog that wrote several posts about talking to your kids about sex. I’ll post more links in a later post, it’s good stuff. What I love about this video most is that part of the video is a 12 year old boy telling parents what they need to know about talking to their kids. Classic!