Requiring parents to volunteer

Posted on 03. Aug, 2009 by in Inspiration, Parents, Volunteers

1546260129_lWhile I was on vacation, I got an email from another church asking me the following questions:

1.  Do you expect or require parents to volunteer?
2. If so when do you start expecting them (when they become members?
after attending 3 months?)
3.  How is it working for you?

I’m going to post my answer tomorrow. Before I do, I’d like to hear what you think. Have you had success with serving requirements?

Meet Kenny

Kenny Conley has written 1607 posts on CMO.

Kenny Conley is the primary author of Childrens Ministry Online and the NextGen Pastor at Gateway Church in Austin, TX. In addition to creating the Illuminate Conference, a high quality kidmin conference designed specifically for volunteers, Kenny is a published author and speaker. For more biographical info, click here.

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  • http://outofneutral.tv Pat Rowland

    We don’t require parents to volunteer, but we are working on some processes that educate parents more about the FM strategy and the roles that adults play in their kids development. It’s my hope that will encourage parents to serve. We want people to find fulfillment in their service not see it serving as an obligation. When serving breeds fulfillment as a leader you can focus on shepherding and retaining volunteers rather then always recruiting. I wish that I could say we are there, however, we are working on changing the culture to reflect this attitude.
    .-= Pat Rowland´s last blog ..Celebrating Dads for 100 Years =-.

  • http://mercysearch.blogspot.com/ karin

    I don’t think this would go over well at all at Gateway. I think you serve because you are called to it and God gives you the gifts and strengths to move forward in it.

    I don’t want parents who don’t really have a passion or dedication to serving kids in there because they were told they have to.

    I think if this happened, you would see a drop in children coming to church. One would stay home with the kids and the other would come to hear the message.
    .-= karin´s last blog ..I exalt Thee =-.

  • http://www.childrensministryandculture.wordpress.com Larry Shallenberger

    The draft should be reserved for negative and high risk situations like fighting in a war.

    Pressing people into service is a poor excuse for having a compelling culture.
    .-= Larry Shallenberger´s last blog ..Difficult Babies Thrive If Placed In Correct Care!!!! =-.

  • Peter

    We encourage it, but it’s not required. If you’re not called to work with children (youth, music, insert ministry here), you probably shouldn’t be there. However, there’s definitely a difference between being lazy and really not being called. It doesn’t take much to work in most nurseries – a willingness to cuddle/play with a baby and sometimes change a diaper However, I’ve seen a lot of people who won’t volunteer to help out there because they don’t want to miss something or they’ve done their time. Sad that we don’t see this as a ministry to others as well and it’s so easily overlooked. To me, a growing/active children’s ministry is a good sign that your church is doing well.

  • http://www.twitter.com/crossydj crossydj

    i would actively be discouraging parents from swerving in our kids ministry. this is because some people find it very hard to differentiate between being a parent and being a leader to their children. In our ministry we currently have 2 leaders who have siblings in our program, and this is proving to be difficult as the leaders believe they need to be the parents while the children are in our care and also believe leaders rules don’t apply to them when they are leading their siblings.
    in my opinion, you need to limit the amount of difficulties that you face when running a ministry and because many parents can’t take themselves out of the parenting role, it makes it hard as a ministry leader to run an effective ministry.
    .-= crossydj´s last blog ..crossydj: @peteammerman that sounds mint. i hope they show the barcelona game on ESPN in New Zealand! =-.

  • http://mercysearch.blogspot.com/ karin

    excellent point, Larry.
    .-= karin´s last blog ..I exalt Thee =-.

  • http://www.helenfuller.net Helen

    We actually did require it a very long time ago at our church, but it made it difficult for parents to serve in other areas of ministry that they were passionate about when they HAD to serve in Children’s Ministry.
    I think sometimes Sunday mornings might be the only time some parents get a chance to pursue their passion and sometimes they just need a break from their little ones and that is OK.
    I think it is important however to find a way to partner with parents and work as a team.
    .-= Helen´s last blog ..Weekend Recap =-.

  • Hollie

    Its funny you should ask this question. My msg this past weekend was on serving. I told the kids of my own evolution from self serving to serving God. When my 2nd son was born I was a new Christian. The church I attended said, “If you’re gonna have a baby in nursery, then u should also volunteer in the nursery.” I didnt like this at all…it made me uneasy. Not because I didnt like kids, but because it meant commitment. BUT, I did it…and ya know what..it wasnt that bad. Then the next church I went to I automatically got involved with the preschool ministry. Then we moved again (army) and I volunteered in the elementary ministry. During this “evolution” my relationship grew in the Lord and, before I knew it, my husband and I became childrens Pastors. We have been childrens pastors now for 3yrs and we absolutely LOVE it. Who knows, if that church hadnt “made” me volunteer, I might not be where I am today. I know its a touchy situation, but I agree with Peter…”There is a difference in being lazy and not being called.”

  • http://MomentumKids.com Barbara Graves

    I’m with the “No, thanks!” crowd. I don’t want people serving our children who don’t want to be there. We only have these kids in “God’s House” for an hour and I want that hour to reflect as much of His love and excitement as possible. But I’m all for having such a blast that people want to serve. The latest volunteers I have had join came because their kids love it.

    And you don’t want to tie people into a children’s position that keeps them from finding what they really do love and prevents them from serving there. We encourage everyone to serve somewhere, but we let them decide when and where.

  • http://www.dustinaagaard.com Dustin Aagaard

    It’s hard enough to lead volunteers that want to be there I can’t imagine trying to lead people that don’t want to serve and are forced to. I’ve had someone on our team bring this up recently and I just haven’t seen a successful growing church model. I’ve seen it done at many “us four no more” churches but yet to see it at a outreach minded church. I’m always open to hearing new ways and ideas so if there is a working model I’d love to hear it.

  • http://put-it-on-the-list.blogspot.com/ Lisa@put-it-on-the-list

    We never volunteered when our kids were in KQ because we were up to our eyeballs in production. It should be taken into account that some parents volunteer (and feel called to volunteer) elsewhere.

    I spent several years working in child care centers, and I can tell you with great certainty that I am not called to work with kids. I’ll love on babies one on one, no problem, but I’m not taking on a roomful of someone else’s kids willingly anytime soon: been there, done that. I happily use my spiritual gifts and abilities elsewhere within Gateway, and I have a great admiration for those who are called to spend time with Gateway’s kids.

    I feel pretty strongly that it shouldn’t be a requirement that parents volunteer their time. A happy volunteer makes for happy kids and a great kids’ program. You might have to recruit, but everyone is better off that way.
    .-= Lisa@put-it-on-the-list´s last blog ..What a Cool Birthday Gift! =-.

  • http://childrensministryonline.com Kenny

    Thanks for all the good comments people! Peter, I like where you were going with the idea of “being called” to something. If only people who were called to children’s ministry volunteered in children’s ministry, we’d never have enough people. I’m just going to be honest here… might be a little jaded. When someone won’t volunteer for children’s ministry becasue they don’t feel called to it (and they’re usually not doing anything else either), it makes me want to kick them in the face. Just kidding, I can only think of one or two people I’ve ever wanted to kick in the face. It does reveal to me a certain level of immaturity (not always, but often). See, I don’t feel called to serve in a homeless ministry, but there are times when I need to serve the homeless because there is a need. Neither do I feel called to hospitality ministry, but sometimes I’ve gotta step up and get the job done. Either for a one time thing or for a season.
    Yes, there are people who should not be serving with our kids, but there are a whole bunch of people who can serve our kids and should that aren’t called but they do it because there is a need.

    Serving is best when you find your sweet spot, but sometimes we have to step up and serve where there is a need.

    Know what I mean?
    .-= Kenny´s last blog ..Requiring parents to volunteer =-.

  • http://kidsministryrevolution.com Sarah Thompson

    We currently only get parents to help in the pre-school area. There are some that are really keen to do their part, but they tend to be the ones that are really involved in serving in other areas of the church and I really don’t want to give them too much.

    Also over summer (Christmas time on our side of the world!) when all the university students are away we run a different program and get parents involved there.

    For some kids having parents in kids ministry really cramps their style – they’re different kids when their parents are around, esp for the pre teens, so I don’t put a huge push on it.
    .-= Sarah Thompson´s last blog ..KidsRock 09 1+1 =-.

  • Robert

    Why would you want anyone who wither doesn’t like children or is not passionate about working ith chilren to be in your Children’s Ministry? I prefer to spend extra time asking my Father to supply te workers needed for this part of His field and then discover where that person’s passion is before they become a part of the team. Don’t get me wrong. We need LOTS of volunteers to do what we do but I still prefer passonate people!

  • http://www.ministryideastudios.com Misty

    Years as a leader we requested that parents serve once a month with about a 50% positive results. Now I get that you ENGAGE parents in the learning process. Yes I would still state ” welcome to the team” to parents when their kids attend regularly. Have seen SO many times where the positive light of service comes on in SO many parents.
    They become a part of the process as they learn they are the primary spiritual leaders of their kids. Parents want to succeed- and they (90% of the time) if welcmed warmly and allowed to know what to do as they serve- its VERY rewarding. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of their kids lives like that? Too many serving areas- even not in rooms with kids- too not engage parents. I highly recommend vision casting the “partnering with parents” concept. Parents frankly don’t know where the sweet spot even is unless they sometimes are given the opp to serve. Love it. Love volunteers! We can’t exist without them! PArternship goes a lot further than just leaving your kids in a ministry.

  • daniel White

    Don’t require parents to volunteer.

    1. Parents hate it.

    2. People shouldn’t be forced to serve outside of their giftings.

    3. You want volunteers who love kids and are called to that ministry.

    We don’t make anyone serve at our church. And I can’t tell you how many times we have had people come and say to us. I don’t have to serve in the children’s ministry or preschool?? There is no rule or schedule?? In my opinion it’s old school and not very effective because people feel like they are being forced to do something and when you are forced to do something it automatically makes the thing you are being made to do not enjoyable.

  • Beck

    Ok, I am trying not to sound embittered by the excuses.
    Hmm But, I think we would be sitting in a very loud, child infested BIG church if only those passionate (as you say) about being active in their child’s church welfare, volunteered.
    It is interesting all the hrs parents will put into their child’s extra curricular activities. But, when a church asks for active involvement in this, people actually get mad.
    I am sorry, but this is beyond me.
    -Disheartened

  • idaho

    If a parent does not want to be activily involved.
    Let them walk.

  • Amber

    I think you should require parents to serve ONE time in ONE area to see and appreciate what other do on a weekly basis. This way you may get some to commit and the ones you don’t want serving will not serve again.

  • JB

    First, anyone who is not apart of a church shouldn’t be expected to volunteer. Period. Not until someone has put their faith in Christ should they serve in the church.
    Next, The Church is for serving others in a fellowship of accountable Christians. People don’t like the idea of “working” at Church, but the fact is the Church is not here for the people in it; It’s for the ones who aren’t. Yes the Church is a place to worship and find comfort in Christ with fellow believers, but the Primary Purpose is not self-oriented. So instead of just injecting opinion into the matter let’s look at what the scripture says about service:

    1 Peter 5:2
    Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve. -1 Peter 5:2

    Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men. -Ephesians 6:7

    For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. -Romans 16:18

  • ME

    Thank you all for your comments and advice. It is greatly appreciated…I am definetly going to take into consideration all of the advice posted here. Thanks again, ME`

  • nathan ramirez

    ME,
    I was wondering if you could perhaps tell me what the final outcome was on your decison. My wife is the Volunteer Coordinator for our Mega Church. Our church is really struggling to meet the demands of the amount of children who are being brought in! (blessing) On the flip-side, volunteers are needed to be there for these pre-schoolers. I can understand to a point some of the posts about upsetting parents with mandatory serving time, as well as some of the comments about being actively involved in other ministries in the church. GREAT! However, the fact remains that the amount of children who are coming is increasing, while the amount of volunteers to assist are not. BTW for some of those wondering, I volunteer to help with the children, in ADDITION to volunteering in another ministry within the children’s ministry. Do I always enjoy it, absolutely not. But I”m serving the Lord and our church, and I”m more than willing to step outside my comfort zone if it’s pleasing to our savior.

  • http://childrensministryonline.com Kenny

    I think you’ll here a consensus here. Where some churches close rooms (most do not), most do everything in their power to make sure that not a single child is turned away. Do whatever it takes. Develop contingency plans. Get the Sr. Pastor on board. Recruit more volunteers. However, do what must be done so that all kids can come to church. There is always a solution… It may be a lot of hard work and may require trying new things and thinking outside the box… But it can be done. Again… I’ll emphasize, your pastor may play a part in helping either through communication to the church or creating a culture for volunteers. I don’t know if that helps at all.