Anyway, she did send me this link, a compilation of statistical and survey results by Covenant Eyes, the company that helps protect computers from pornographic content. It’s a massive document with great information about the dangers as well as prevalence of pornography. Click here to download the document.

There are many great stats to use if making a presentation to parents or your church about the need for parent intervention. Here were a few points that I wanted to highlight.

So, all of this is good reason for the church and parents to make sure our kids are safe, right?

]]> http://childrensministryonline.com/family/pornography-statistics/feed/ 2 http://childrensministryonline.com/family/two-great-articles-on-sexuality/ http://childrensministryonline.com/family/two-great-articles-on-sexuality/#comments Wed, 26 Jan 2011 17:45:01 +0000 Kenny http://childrensministryonline.com/?p=7972 Since I didn’t realize that Children’s Ministry Magazine had a great article on this important topic, I figured I’d search their site to see if there were any more. Yes, two great articles!

Click here for their article on how children understand sexuality at different points of their development. It would be a great resource for parents to understand what their kids know, what kinds of questions their kids are going to be asking and how to deal with those questions. Excellent information.

The second article I found was directed toward ministry leaders. It deals with how to tackle difficult conversations and situation involving a variety of sexual topics. Everything from engaging a family of same sex parents, working with children who have gender identity issues and encountering kids who are engaging in conversations about sexuality.… Read the rest

Since I didn’t realize that Children’s Ministry Magazine had a great article on this important topic, I figured I’d search their site to see if there were any more. Yes, two great articles!

Click here for their article on how children understand sexuality at different points of their development. It would be a great resource for parents to understand what their kids know, what kinds of questions their kids are going to be asking and how to deal with those questions. Excellent information.

The second article I found was directed toward ministry leaders. It deals with how to tackle difficult conversations and situation involving a variety of sexual topics. Everything from engaging a family of same sex parents, working with children who have gender identity issues and encountering kids who are engaging in conversations about sexuality. This article thoroughly describes scenarios, what to do if it happens in your ministry and how to respond. We live in a culture and time where we WILL face these situations and we need to be ready to handle them. Why, we’re called to love these families as God loves them and out of our uncomfortability or perceived aversion to some of these situations, we could send a message to these families that they are judged, unwanted or worthless.

Thanks for these great resources for families and ministries.

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“Teenagers are more likely to abtsain from sexual intercourse before the age of 18 if their parents hold strong religious beliefs and explain them to their children and attend church together regularly.”

Good to know.

However, I was very intrigued by the direction the article took. When explaining what partnering with parents looks like, they described meeting with parents to explain what you (the church) will be using to teach kids about sex. The meeting is an opportunity to get permission, hear the parents needs and let them know exactly what will  be discussed with the kids. If parents aren’t on board, then materials can be given tot he parents to direct the talks themselves.

I’m a little surprised. I’ve not ever encountered a church that officially offers some kind of sex ed. It seems like the approach of “We believe that the parents are the best at this, but since most parents don’t do it or do it well, we’re going to do it anyway.” I’m not exactly sure how I feel about it. I wonder if this is a welcome thing for parents, if they are just grateful that churches are partnering with them on a very practical level. Anyone else do this or know of a church that literally offers sex ed? I’ve come across some (namely people mentioned in articles) and I plan to learn more about what it is they’re doing.

Anyway, chime in. I’d like to hear your thoughts.

So this week I’ve broached the subject of sex, porn and Children’s Ministry, but I mostly opened the conversation about parent driven sex talks and resources. I haven’t said much about pornography though. Hopefully, thorough parent-driven sex talks will address pornography and prepare kids for when they’ll be exposed to it. However, is there a way for the church to help address this problem more intentionally?

The numbers speak for themselves. 12-18 year olds are significant consumers of pornography. The average age of first exposure is eight. All of us have children in our ministries who are being exposed to porn and many are developing addictions. Many of these kids are already caught int he trap. They’re lured back to it time and time again because of their new-found appetite, but they’re also carrying this shame and guilt they’ve never carried before. At such a young age with their entire lives ahead of them, they’re already trapped in the devil’s most powerful snare.

I understand this in a very real way. I was one of these young kids exposed way to early. This uncontrollable appetite got the best of me and I carried guilt and shame and it severely tainted a very sweet relationship with the Lord I’d had since I was four or five. It was at a summer camp as a 5th grader where I felt the conviction of the holy spirit and I confessed to a leader and wept my eyes out. It was so freeing for me.

But a lot of little boys don’t get that chance. A lot of boys don’t take that step of courage (I’m kind of surprised I even did it) to confess their dirty secret. Is there a way we can be more intentional in helping both boys and girls who are struggling with this?

I know that at times I speak to kids and my talk with come around to media or stuff like that. I’ll sometimes say something like, “Some of you’ve been listening to music that you know isn’t good for you and it doesn’t honor God. Some of you’ve been watching TV or movies that you know your parents would not let you watch. Some of you have seen stuff on the computer that you know was wrong…” But to that degree, that’s the furthest I’ll go with it. It’s kind of vague. My hope is that the kids struggling with the beginnings of a porn addiction will identify and will respond to what I’m asking them to do. But I feel that this isn’t enough.

I don’t want to have a flat out porn talk, I don’t feel it’s our place. Really, it’s for the parents. However, are there ways we can be more direct without exposing kids who’ve not been affected by this to something they don’t need to know? In a small group, can a leader address the group of boys saying something like, “Some of you have seen some stuff that you know doesn’t honor God at all. You know that your parents wouldn’t want you to see it and if Jesus was sitting beside you, you’d be embarrassed. Maybe it was a video or even pictures, but you’ve seen them and there’s a part of you that wants to see it again, but another part of you that’s really ashamed or even guilty. You need to know that it’s not right to look at this, but you don’t need to live under guilt and shame. You don’t need to feel that God doesn’t want to be your friend because you kind of want to look at that stuff again. However, you need help to not look at it again and you don’t need to walk down that road by yourself. You might want to think about talking to someone, possibly your mom or dad… or even me.”

I feel that as a 3rd or 4th graders struggling with my guilt, I really needed someone to challenge me, to encourage me and even draw me out. Ultimately I obeyed God’s prompting, but how many kids out there need an adult in their life saying, “you’re not alone, God still loves you and there are people who want to help you.” In my heart I just feel this message of hope and healing needs to be communicated and more than just one or two times a year. How many times is there a great opportunity to share, but we don’t because the conversation is too risky or the level of comfort is too high.

I’m curious though as to what you think? Is this too heavy? To what ends have you communicated this message? The church absolutely needs to empower parents, but to what degree can the church lead on on this?

Don’t get hung up on the words though, it’s really not about me, it’s about those I hope to influence. Without compromising convictions or beliefs, it’s my job to connect with people in their reality. If finding a unique way to describe what I am about in life that actually engages a non-believer, I’m 100% behind it. I think we need to constantly analyze the words and terms we use while trying to be relevant with the people around us. \

One word we don’t use at my church at all is discipleship. Is it me or is it just so churchy? In addition, there are too many definitions for discipleship. To some churches, it’s a class. For others it’s a group book study. For others it’s a multi-year one on one relationship and to others it’s a program. Many Christ followers have awkward or negative thoughts associated with this term while even some of those outside the church see discipleship as cult-like and mindless devotion to a freaky cause. The term discipleship may need to go the way of the Dodo.

So what’s another word? We use the word transform or transformation. Isn’t that really the point of discipleship, to transform or change? Lots of people are in “discipleship,” but they never change. Isn’t that an oxymoron? It’s a fairly specific word that describes something that could be measured, right? The reason I like this word too is that it isn’t specific to any particular method. People are discipled/transformed by various methods, but just becasue someone is being discipled doesn’t mean they’ve changed.

What do you think of this word? Is it one you’ll add to your vocabulary? Can you think of any other church “inside” words that need to be transformed?

My parents own their own tax business. They’ve been a part of a franchise for the last 5-6 years, but now they’re out on their own. They’ve selected their name, but now they’re working with a design company to develop their logo. They’ve got several really good options on the table and they’re needing to select one concept that they’re going to take further. My good friend Matt McKee had some really good advice that I think they’ll take into consideration in the revision process. However, I wanted to get some feedback from a general audience as well. Most of the readers of this site aren’t in the “tax business” but everyone has to pay taxes. So, as a general tax payer, which of these concepts do you connect with most.

Oh, let me give you the context. The franchise my parents were with last had a logo that was Red, White and Blue. Matt asked if my folks were doing taxes or running for office! My parents have a strong presence in their city and felt it was good to incorporate those same colors to continue to connect with their previous clients although their name has changed. Their company is in South Georgia in the same town as a large Air Force base with many military clients, which also is reason for the star and the patriotic colors.

Okay, now that you know the context, what do you think? What would stand out the most to you as someone looking for a company to do your taxes?

Option 1:

Option 2:

Option 3:

Option 4:

Option 5:

So what do you think? What option do you like and why? What would you revise to the option you like?

BTW, you may say “I wouldn’t really know about this because I got to a CPA for my taxes.” If that’s you, you’re probably paying too much to have your taxes done. Clergy taxes are more complicated and unfortunately CPA’s are usually better equipped to handle our taxes, but we pay for it in the end. My parents are experts in tax law, especially dealing with clergy. So, if you think you’re paying too much to have your taxes done, you should give them a call. Contact me and I’ll connect you with them. Read more about this here.

Here’s a little secret though. Don’t rely on just their website. Several years ago I was designing a small group/discipleship program for elementary aged kids. Depending on what grade you were in determined what books and supplies you needed. There were books that I’d picked up from trade booths at conferences and from the shelves at local Christian bookstores. Once I knew what I wanted, I sent Harvest the list of books and Bibles I needed. They always beat the best prices I could find and often floored me with the savings. So, if you need to pick up Children’s Ministry books and Bibles, be sure to check with Harvest before you make a purchase.

In case you’re wondering, I wrote this post simply to pass the information along. Harvest doesn’t know I’m writing this. Other than a case of gift Bibles for Child Dedication I ordered six months ago, I haven’t ordered from them in a few years. The truth is that I had misplaced their information and a few days ago I came across their site. I figured I’d blog about them to share the love and so that I wouldn’t loose their information again. Yes, I blog for me as much as I do for you… it also serves as my public address book and idea pot.

Just the other day Time did a story on this church. Read it here.

I’m challenged by what this church is doing.

Twitter has been around for close to two years and too many people still don’t have any idea what it is. It’s kind of like this commercial below (pay attention at 0.33 seconds in).

Churches talk about innovation and their need to be creative, yet so many haven’t event embraced the dozens of ways that twitter can be used.

Last week I was at Orange. It was my second year. The first year it was an experience. This year I was a part of a community sharing an experience. Guess what year was better?

What too many people don’t understand is that twitter creates and enhances community. Isn’t that what churches are dying to create? Wake up church and smell the tweets.

I’m working on the 2009 budget this week and I think we’re anticipating things to get a little tight, but nothing to serious.

Anyone have to make budget cuts? What areas are seeing the cuts? What ways are you having to be creative to deal with shortfalls?