You know, I totally get it that there are many who really aren’t going to network a lot online. Some people are going to lurk and read and not really connect online. However, there really isn’t any excuse for not networking with others in your city. It’s way too easy.

So, here are some questions:

• When was the last time you had lunch or coffee with a kidmin leader at another church?
• If you run into a complication, do you have the names of numbers of other local children’s pastors you can call?
• When was the last time you implemented an idea that you got from what another church was doing locally?

If you answered never, or it’s been more than a year or something like that to the three questions above… I dont’ need to say it, do I? I don’t want to shame anyone. However, I do want to say this. You should NEVER do ministry alone. Whether you’re a church with 10 kids and no staff or a church of 1000 kids and 10 staff… don’t do ministry alone. For both big and small, not networking, sharing and getting help from others is a mark of arrogance, selfishness and a bunch of other unfriendly words I’d like to write down.

What do you think would honor Jesus? I think that working in unity blesses him. I think that helping the church down the road that doesn’t have all the resources you do blesses him. I think that calling that bigger church and asking for the tour and asking questions blesses him. It builds the church, the body of Christ.

Okay, I’m done with my rant. Don’t do ministry alone!

Here he is with the one and only Carman. That alone is worth attaining personal hero status… but I’ll go on. I know that a lot of you who read this blog probably read Jonathan’s blog too, but in case you don’t, you should start. For the past 2-3 years, I’ve been beating this “collaboration” drum because it’s changed the entire way I see (and do) ministry. There’s something about not doing it alone. Funny how you can have a big church, big staff and still sometimes feel all alone. If you find yourself in that position, it’s your fault.

I’ve only known Jonathan Cliff for about 3 years, but he’s probably one of the people who has influenced my life most in recent years. Although he is a great guy to bounce ideas off of, he’s much more than that to me… he’s a close friend. Probably to his irritation, I call him 2-4 times a week… usually on my way in to work or when I’m coming home. When I need encouragement, a good laugh or simply to get picked on, I know I can count on Jonathan. However, he was recently promoted to the same position I hold and already I’m learned so much from him. He’s an incredible leader and he probably doesn’t realize that I’m often writing things down that I hear him say concerning the way he leads (especially confronts).

JC is the real deal. He loves his wife well and he’s a great dad. His kids are a proof of that. His family are also rockstars by going on mission to foster kids who need a good influence while their parents get their lives back in order. If you get a chance to meet Jonathan, just ask him about why they foster… it’s inspiring. In the three years I’ve gotten to know Jonathan, I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with him at multiple conferences as well as our families hanging out together in both Austin and Lubbock.

So, why do I write all of this?

1. Jonathan (and a few other people very special to me) came into my life when I started putting myself out there with blogging/tweeting and contacting others in ministry. Put yourself out there too, it’s the best thing that could ever happen to you!
2. I had to figure out how to use this great photo of him and Carman as well as some of these other great pics and videos.
3. Sometimes it feels really nice to have someone say good stuff about you. It means a lot when it happens to me, so I figured I’d pay it forward.

Jonathan has a thing for trees. Living in Lubbock, I guess you start to miss them or something. He went out and bought this tree and I think he’s really proud of it as he has talked about it to me on multiple occasions. If you’ve ever visiting Lubbock, be sure to get your picture taken with the tree. I hadn’t been out of my car for more than 5 minutes before I was posing with his tree. I laugh every time I see this picture!

Oh, and one more thing. This summer Jonathan and his family stopped over for a couple days on their way to the beach. We went tubing down the San Marcos River. We stopped and swung on the rope swing for a few minutes. On JC’s first swing, he almost lands on this elderly dude. So funny! Check out the video!

Something very interesting happened this past Sunday. I met a family in our lobby that had some questions about what we offer for special needs. As we were talking for a little while, I found out that they had recently moved form Memphis, TN. A little later they said they had attended Hope. “Hope Presbyterian?” I asked. The confirmed. Turns out they knew Craig Gyergyo very well, the Children’s Pastor I’d come to know very well through my Infuse group with Jim Wideman. I learned that Craig had recommended them come check out Gateway and the connection that Craig and I shared put them at ease as they felt like this was a “God” thing.

It reminded me that something like this happened this summer as well. A friend of mine, a Fellowship One guru at a church in IL, told me that a family from his church was moving to Austin. I connected through my friend (who by the way, I’ve never met, but connected through twitter when I had questions abotu F1) and once they arrived, I tried to make sure they felt really welcome. The connected very quickly into the culture and life of Gateway.

What I really enjoyed is that because of my collaboration with people at other churches, they helped some of their own connect at Gateway. They had a relatively seamless transition from one body to another. In my opinion, that’s leading well. That’s truly caring for those you pastor and lead. Too many times people move away from our churches and when they ask us if we know of any great churches where they are headed, we shrug our shoulders. What would it look like if I could guide leaders, volunteers or families into top-notch ministries in the cities they are moving too? How crazy would it be for someone to be going through the volunteer application process with a new church even before they relocated (I’ve dont this before… so cool). I really want the best for the people in my ministry, even after they move away.

Certainly this won’t be how it always works, but it wont’ happen at all unless you collaborate. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t met, but you’ve heard a lot about. Take a step, even if it’s a little out of your comfort zone. It will be so good for you and believe it or not, it’s good for those you lead!

So, I hope this reason alone is enough to make you want to come along. Come and meet someone, ministry is too important to do alone!

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Yes, when it comes to leadership, the higher you go, the less people you have to surround you with support and encouragement. At times you have to make tough calls that no one understands. This is the part where loneliness comes in. However, that’s only fully true if you’ve been doing ministry alone.

Last Saturday I spoke to volunteers in our Children’s Ministry about never doing ministry alone. I’m not sure I effectively communicated what my heart truly feels, but I shared how vital it is that we shouldn’t just do our ministry job, whether as a staff member or weekly volunteer, but we should seek out others to share in the joys and frustrations of ministry. My words of encouragement were:

• Lean into the community of those you already serve with. Most of our volunteers already serve in a consistent team each week, but developing relationships with those you serve with isn’t always natural. I shared that ministry is rewarding, but when you share your ministry experience with others you’re connected with, the reward is exponentially greater.
• Expand the community of those you serve with. Life is busy. Just becasue you’re one a 9:30 Early Childhood ministry team doesn’t mean relationally you going to connect with everyone on your team. Since you’re already serving, ask a friend or another family member to serve with you. That way you can have a shared ministry experience with someone you’re already in community with.

I’ve found both of these concepts to be so incredibly true. Some of the best relationship I’ve had in my life have been with those I serve with, both as volunteers and as staff. In the last several years, I’ve made intentional efforts to develop strong relationships with those outside my church. It’s true that higher up in leadership, there are less people in your organization to really connect with relationally. It is possible to feel a certain amount of loneliness within your organization, which is why it’s so important to develop key relationships outside of your organizations. Connect with others doing the same job as you. That way when things are tough and few people understand what you’re going through, you’ve got someone to talk to that understands, can encourage you and pray with you. When you need ideas or a fresh perspective, call on these other relationships. As I transitioned into a new job almost two years ago, I was able to lean heavily on good friends who remained consistent in my life although everything else for me changed.

It doesn’t have to be so lonely at the top, it’s just up to you to make it that way.

I recently updated my resource page for registration cards. Click here to see registration cards from 13 different churches. Want to add your card to the gallery? Send it my way at kenny@childrensministryonline.com.

I’ve talked a lot about collaboration this year. It’s my favorite word. How do you collaborate? How are you collaborating right now? Does your church collaborate?

Right now our church is doing One Prayer with nearly 2000 other churches. Hundreds of churches have uploaded video teachings. Thousands of people will hear the words of guest pastors speaking into their lives and into their situations. This is collaboration on an epic scale.

How else are you collaborating?

KENNY CONLEY ONLINE COLLABORATION SESSION from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

SAM LUCE LEVELS OF ONLINE COLLABORATION from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

Jonathan Cliff What Online Collaboration Is Not from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

MATT MCKEE TOOLS FOR ONLINE COLLABORATION from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

This is my ministry team. Oh, I have more than one. I have my staff, who I LOVE working with every day! This is my peer ministry team. They’re Children’s and Family Pastors from across the country. We all met on the internet initially by reading each other’s blogs. Then we started emailing each other which led to phone calls, facebook groups and all kinds of other things. Over the last two years, we’ve become good friends and a great place for encouragement and ideas. I think everyone of us have walked away with ideas from our group and have implemented them in our own churches. Together, we’re getting better at what we do and together, we’re serving more kids than any one of us would alone.

Two weeks ago at Orange, the five of us met in person for the first time. What a blast! We hung out a lot. It was like a family reunion. If you saw us at Orange, I hope you didn’t think we we’re stand off-ish or exclusive at all, we were just excited to all be together.

Why am I writing all of this? It’s my challenge to you. Outside of your staff, do you have anyone else that challenges you to be better professionally? I went nine years without this in my life. My only regret in ministry is that I would have had this earlier. So, what are you waiting for?

In the picture:
Jonathan Cliff
Matt McKee
Gina McClain
Sam Luce
Me