Actually last night, Rob Livingston wrote a great post starting off day two. Rob is a bi-vocational kid’s pastor… a school teacher in Sweet Home Alabama. He and I broke bread (or tacos) at Chuy’s here in Austin 8 months ago and I think I made a friend forever by sending him on to eat the best BBQ brisket he’d ever tasted. The funny thing is that Rob didn’t have a blog 10 days ago when he requested a copy of the book… perhaps the Eric Trap prompted a new habit? I hope so! I liked Rob’s review a lot. He described how at one point he got really excited about a decision Eric made thinking, “finally, he got something right!” only to find out that this too was a bad decisions. This illustrates a story we wanted to tell. Often times we in Kidmin (or other areas of church leadership) do what we feel is right and natural, but sometimes what seems right and natural may not be what is best.

Jonathan Cliff wrote another great review (he also wrote on the back cover of the book) that was fun to read. He talked about how he felt Sam and I were putting all his junk out on the table. Honestly, Sam and I do know Jonathan pretty well and it wasn’t too hard to get the phone numbers of a few of his staff and volunteers…. just kidding. No, the truth is that many are going to read this book and say, “Hey, that’s me!” It’s the reality that the traps Eric falls into is common to us all. I think Jonathan is giving away some books on his site as well.

Lastly, my good friend Jenn Day wrote another great review over on her brand-spanking-new blog. You must check it out. She posed a handful of questions to determine if this book is worth your time. There may be a few who say, “Nah, I’m good.” But I think that most will say, “Yeah, I kinda suck in that aspect of ministry/leadership. Jenn, thanks for your perspective and different approach to the book review. Lastly, if you’re looking to get your hands on a free book, go read her review and comment. It’s as easy as that.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard

Switch was actually the first book I read this year and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve passed this book along to someone else, always with the same result. Switch changed the way I think about change. Both changing things within my personal life and helping to lead other people through change. I’m convinced that there’s more science to change than there is just random chance. There’s a real psychology to it and understanding what truly motivates a person or how to design a system around their emotions is the better way to lead through change. Read this book, you will not be disappointed!

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story

I heard Donald Miller speak at Orange on two different occasions and I loved his talks. They are some of the few talks that stuck with me over the years. Why, he’s such a good story teller. People have been talking about Blue Like Jazz for years, but I have not read it yet (although I do own it now). I finally picked up this book and loved every minute of reading it. It affected me in two ways. First of all, it challenged me in the way that I’m living my life. It caused me to ask the question, “Is my life a compelling story that’s worth being told/read? Where is the adventure? Where am I overcoming conflict?” My wife and I have been talking a lot about this. Secondly, there’s a story in the book where a family jumps into a river at midnight as a “goodbye” ritual. When asked about this later, they explained that they jumped into the river to create a memory that the other people will never forget. This caused me to think about the precious moments we have in ministry with kids. Are we intentional about creating experiences that create memories they’ll never forget. This won’t happen without intentionality.

Fields of Gold

Many leaders at my church have read this book by Andy Stanley. It’s about generosity. I’ve never read a book that talks about giving to your church quite like this. I’ve read and heard many formulaic teachings, usually how in the end, it benefits the giver… almost in a selfish way. For several months, my wife and I have been talking about how we can increase what we give every year with a goal where sometime in the future, we’ve learned how to give more than we keep. Reading this book fueled that kind of thinking and made us want to make that happen as soon as possible. It’s an incredible book. Be careful though, it will change your outlook on giving!

Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

I’m busier than I’ve ever been and I struggle to get everything done. I know that I have some inefficiencies in my life… we all do. I heard about this book from Gina McClain and I’m so glad I picked it up. It immediately changed how I get things done. I’ve always been a list keeper, but this book helped me get really smart about my lists. Now I start every morning naming the frogs I need to eat ASAP. Definitely a must read!

The E-Myth Revisited

I read a lot of leadership books, but not as many business books. However, I did start a side business this year and this book came highly recommended. I immediately learned many things that I was doing wrong and how I needed to fix them before I had a mess on my hands. What’s more though, I discovered that the principles apply to the ministry I lead in a very specific way. If you oversee a ministry or even a department, you must read this book. Read with an open mind and keep asking yourself, “how does this apply to my ministry.” In it is a plan to equipping others where you can do the important work of strategy and growth and not get stuck in the weeds like so many of us do.

Okay, so there’s my top five. Like I said, this was a difficult list. I read many more that challenged me profoundly. If you’re looking for some good books to read, I highly recommend these five, but I’d also encourage you to hit any of the others on my 2011 reading list.

As I look through the first list, I see nine people I’ve met (I’m counting Karl although I’ve never met him in person, we’ve certainly met electronically). Another three I’ve heard of and the rest I didn’t know anything about. Funny since I have been in Kidmin for nearly 15 years. On the other hand though, several from this list have profoundly influenced me as a leader and pastor. One of them I consider a good friend.

The second list is entirely different. Of the 20 I’ve met 14 (I’m including David Wakerly. Again, I’ve not met him personally, but there’s been enough digital interaction). There were only four names that were new to me. Most interesting is that of the 20, five or six I consider good friends. It’s an entirely different group.

I think that the biggest difference between the two groups is that the first list is mostly filled with ministry pioneers that spoke at conferences, wrote books and articles that impacted thousands (and still do). For some of them, the closest you’re going to get to them is hanging out after a conference (although you’d be surprised how many of them would take time to grab a coffee or lunch with you if you simply asked). However, almost everyone on the second list is immediately available through their blog, twitter and their cell phone. I think that “availability” through technology is what makes these groups so different.

So, thank you Children’s Ministry Magazine for developing the two lists. At the very least, it’s given me some ideas for people I’d like to get to know better. I’m honored that they thought to put me on the list. However, here is what I do know. There are many other people who should be and could be on this list as well. I know several who are way more qualified that me, but maybe because they don’t have a blog or haven’t yet written a book, they probably won’t make it to a list like this. That’s okay. Making a “list” isn’t really all that important in the long run.

That was my first experience with this book.

One time I even discouraged someone from reading this book. I told him that it wasn’t really a book about leadership, but about leading children’s ministry productions. Sorry Larry.

I’ll say it.

I was wrong.

A few months ago Larry Shallenberger asked for people to review this book for his blog tour. I’m not even sure why I agreed because I had already made up my mind that this book wasn’t for me. I think it was the promise of a free book. Well, I’m glad I got to review it because it may end up being one of the most important books I read this year.

This IS a leadership book that happens to tell a story as a narrative that illustrates the lessons being taught. The story happens to be about a Children’s Musical Production. While skimming, I missed the point and made incorrect assumptions.

More importantly, this book spoke to some of they areas where I’ve felt “stuck” as a leader. It spoke to my frustrations as well as some of the frustrations my team has been feeling. There are many different styles to leadership and no one possesses them all. Perhaps part of the reason I feel stuck is becasue I’m not allowing my team to lead the way God made them which in turn isn’t allowing me to lead the way God made me.

I’m not going to get into the details of the book here. All I can say is that as I read this book I often found myself nodding in agreement, “Yes! This makes perfect sense!” I also found myself getting really hopeful about the way things could be if people on a team actually led this way. Plenty of light bulb moments. I’ve already been talking to my staff about the concepts and we’ll be reading the book as a team this month. We’ll experiment with some of these concepts this summer and fall and if we see certain results, me may look into some organizational restructuring. It’s very exciting!

So, order this book right now! You may have a packed out reading list, but do yourself a favor, pop this book at the top of your list.

Oh, I also have an extra copy of this book to give away. I’ll make this really simple. This post went live on Monday morning, July 5th. The last comment on this post today (Monday) gets a copy of the book. So, leave a comment!

Also, spread the word, I’ve got another copy to give away. The last person to tweet a link to this post with the #kidmin tag today (Monday) will get a book. This should be fun, so tweet away.

So, back in January I posted my reading list for 2010. I had 18 books on the list. For some of you, that’s a leisurely weekend of reading. For me, that’s an undertaking! So, we’re a little halfway through the year and here is where I stand.

So far I’ve read 5 books total, essentially 1/3 toward my goal of 18. I’m really not sure I’ll hit 18, but I still think I can kick it in high gear and get pretty close. Unfortunately, of the books on my 2010 list, I’ve only read 2, Orange and Mad Church Disease. I’m starting Parenting Beyond Your Capacity this weekend (another book not on my list), but I hope to hit my list again next.

I know a lot of you have read the books on my list. Based on what you’ve read, what book should I read next? Below is a little poll. Whatever book gets the most votes, I’ll read it next. I was going to suggest comments on what book needs to be on my list, but I think I just need to focus on the 16 I haven’t read next. Maybe next year I’ll crowdsource my reading list.

Okay, vote below (you can vote for more than one book… just to make it interesting). I’m anxious to know what I’m going to read next.

So, there’s a book out there that I want to point you towards. It’s called “Lead the Way God Made You.” I’ll be honest, it really spoke to where I am right now as a leader in many different ways. I’m doing an official review for this book on Monday, July 5th which I’m writing right now. It’s a holiday weekend and I’ve got a feeling that a lot of my regular readers will be soaking in some rays as opposed to reading my blog. On Tuesday, be sure to log in and read the review. I’m kinda excited about what this book might mean for me as a leader. Maybe if it helps me, it will help you.

Larry Shallenberger published this book five years ago and to celebrate the anniversary, he’s organized a blog tour. So far you can read Larry’s summaries here as well as the first few stops of the blog tour here, here and here.

If you haven’t read the book yet, go ahead and pick up a copy or two right here, I highly recommend it!

This post; however, I want to wrap up a theme that’s emerged this week. I’ve been in Kidmin long enough to see that a real change has taken place. When I started 1997, there were not a lot of resources. Sunday School was king and no one was talking about small groups. Kids music consisted of Arky Arky and Father Abraham, the same songs I sang as a kid 10-12 years earlier (wow, I was a young CP). A decade later, we have a flood of resources and there’s never been a better time to be a children’s pastor. However, I still see two flavors of Kidmin. One tends to still be hanging on to some of the older ways of doing things. They may not be doing Arky Arky anymore, but there are systems and processes that haven’t changed in ten years. Then there is another side that is reinventing what Kidmin looks like. It’s not just the style of music or technology used or way of presenting the message (although that is part of it), but it is the philosophy underneath. It is leadership driven. It’s using creative and innovative ways of leveraging influence in the lives of the kids through schools, teachers and parents to make a lasting impact.

This second flavor of Kidmin is still the minority. Although some of the biggest and loudest ministries in the world are home to these types of ministries, the average church in the average town hasn’t made this transition yet. That’s where this revolution needs to begin. That’s where the change needs to happen. So if you’re a current Children’s Pastor, it would do you well to evaluate where your ministry stands. Does it need a revolution? Is your ministry creatively using innovative strategies to make an impact, or does it use what it’s always been using? Are you getting ready to go into Children’s Ministry? Decide now what kind of Children’s Pastor you want to be. Don’t let the church you go to or the church you think you want to work at dictate what kind of Children’s Pastor you’re going to be. You always have a choice.

Children’s Pastors come in all sorts of shapes and sizes to fit churches of all shapes and sizes, but what do you think are the characteristics of the “perfect” Chidlren’s Pastor. And when I say the “perfect” Children’s Pastor, I’m referring to the kind of Children’s Pastor who is the solution to some of the problems discussed in my post from yesterday (and comments). You may or may not agree with me, but Kidmin has bad PR in the church today which I believe is part of the reason there is such a shortage of great Children’s Pastors. We need more Chidlren’s Pastors who will change the landscape of Children’s Ministry for the average church. What does that Children’s Pastor look like? What are they good at? What is his/her skill set? What are the essentials?

I’ll start with a few.

The “perfect” Children’s Pastor is a strong leader. He/She spends as much time (or more) investing, ministering, praying for and building into other adult leaders as he or she does kids. The “perfect” Children’s Pastor understands that he/she must multiply or he/she will fail.

The “perfect” Chidlren’s Pastor is well-rounded, well-versed in multiple disciplines. He or she is educated. He/she doesn’t have to have a specialized degree (although that doesn’t hurt), but he/she should be able to hang intellectually with the parent, volunteer or fellow staff member who is highly educated. Newsletters, blog posts and emails from this Children’s Pastors aren’t riddled with grammatical errors and typos. He or she is a strong problem solver and can push through the most difficult problems. This “perfect” Children’s Pastor has a strong understanding of the Bible and theology. He doesn’t necessarily have a Seminary or Bible School degree, but it’s obvious he or she has read and knows the “good book.” He or she also has his/her finger on the pulse of what’s happening socially. He or she is current with language, dress and and what’s currently popular. He or she is a student of culture and doesn’t come across as someone who is trying to fit in, but actually does fit in and understands those in the culture.

The “perfect” Children’s Pastor is innovative and a risk taker. He or she doesn’t do what he or she has always done. He or she constantly evaluates past events and programs and makes revisions based on success, changes to the culture and a wide variety of other factors. He or she doesn’t change just for the sake of change, but is willing to do anything to see ministry success. The “perfect” Children’s Pastor has a little bit of a rebellious streak in him or her. He or she is not satisfied with the status quo and will not stop until what is no longer relevant is overthrown.

The “perfect” Children’s Pastor is a communicator. He or she is as comfortable talking to a room full of adults as he or she is speaking to a room full of kids. He or she desires “face time” on the main stage not just to recruit but because it’s important to make that connection with the adults. He or she returns emails and phone calls and doesn’t hide behind email or text messages to have difficult conversations with parents, volunteers or staff.

Okay, that’s just a few. I’d love to see what you think are key characteristics of the “perfect” Children’s Pastor.

Leaders come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. You can be soft spoken and fairly reclusive and be a fantastic leader. You can also be egotistical and larger than life and be a great leader. We see this variety of leaders in business, in society and even in the church. Someone can be a great leader but still be a jerk. Someone can be a great leader and be totally disconnected emotionally with the people around that leader.

I learned a really great principle from Jim Wideman this last year. It was tied into a personality assessment he uses. He taught how a really good leader recognizes the personality type of the person he or she is leading and leads from that context. A good leader doesn’t necessarily just do their leadership thing and expect everyone to flock to him or her but he this kind of leader reaches out. That concept was really insightful. To me, that seems like a really good leader. I’m a “feeler” though, so I maybe its just my perspective. Actually, I’m not going to hide behind the fact that I’m a “feeler.” There are lots of “feelers” who want or need to be led. If you really want to lead us, you need to lean in and show you give a care. Dare I say you need to “emotionally connect.”

I’m not sure exactly what I’m trying to say here. I’m all for visionary leadership and leadership the kicks my butt into gear. However, if you’re insensitive or a jerk, I don’t really want to follow you. In truth, I don’t even want to hang around with you. It seems to me that the role of a pastor is to care and connect with people. It’s a sacrificial role where we put others before ourselves. To me, pastoral leaders happens when you lead from the context of caring and connecting. It’s just something that I’ve been processing. I’m bothered when someone in leadership totally misses this and it causes me to reflect on the way I lead. How do others perceive my leadership? Am I pastoral with my leadership?