Childrens Ministry Online

Learning from Jim Wideman

Posted on 05. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

This is my last post about Brother Jim for a little while. Over the past several days I’ve shared all the amazing thing’s I’ve learned from him, especially this year. I made a few adjustments to my schedule and my budget in order to spend another year in mentoring with him because I don’t think I’m done yet.

So, I’m gong to throw out a suggestion here. This is my blog and I’m certainly entitled to expressing my opinion here, right? Well, here goes.

Not taking advantage of what Bother Jim has to offer could be the greatest mistake you’ll make as a Children’s Pastor. Brother Jim has been serving in the trenches longer than many children’s pastors have been alive. More than anyone else, he knows Children’s Ministry. He knows where it’s been and has a really great understanding of where it’s going. Unlike MANY Children’s Pastors serving as long as he has, he’s stays on the cutting edge of what’s current both socially and ministry wise. Although he’s a good ‘ol boy from Alabama, he can hold his own relationally with anyone from the senior adult to the elementary age kid too the post-modern college student. It’s really quite amazing.

But what you need from Brother Jim more than anything is his wisdom that only comes from years and years of experience. Children’s Pastors are notorious for re-inventing the wheel. I think there are very few people who work as hard and tirelessly as Chidlren’s Pastors, but some of that may be unnecessary. Take advantage of what Jim has to offer. It could be the best thing you do for your ministry.

• Like I said in a previous post, read his books. The other day I linked to a few of his newest books. Below I have links to two of his best selling (and most helpful) books. Get them and read them.
• Join theClub. It’s really not that expensive and you’ll have him speaking into your life every month on the things that are most important.
• Plan a trip to go visit him. He’s offering multiple one-day visits where he’ll teach you about recruiting, time management and structuring for growth. Maybe you can’t afford Infuse, this would be the next best thing.
• Make plans for Infuse. Jim’s not going to launch another Infuse until the fall and from this point on they’re probably just going to be 6 month experiences. However, there’s not better way to get to know him than through Infuse. You’ll have access to him life few others do. He’ll get to know you and challenge you in areas specific to your life and ministry.

Jim doesn’t push a philosophy or agenda. He’s just teaching strong leadership in ministry. Don’t miss out, lean into what Brother Jim has to offer. You’ll be glad you did.

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Who says it’s lonely at the top?

Posted on 03. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

Okay, this statement is partially true, but the way most people use it, I don’t buy it.

Yes, when it comes to leadership, the higher you go, the less people you have to surround you with support and encouragement. At times you have to make tough calls that no one understands. This is the part where loneliness comes in. However, that’s only fully true if you’ve been doing ministry alone.

Last Saturday I spoke to volunteers in our Children’s Ministry about never doing ministry alone. I’m not sure I effectively communicated what my heart truly feels, but I shared how vital it is that we shouldn’t just do our ministry job, whether as a staff member or weekly volunteer, but we should seek out others to share in the joys and frustrations of ministry. My words of encouragement were:

• Lean into the community of those you already serve with. Most of our volunteers already serve in a consistent team each week, but developing relationships with those you serve with isn’t always natural. I shared that ministry is rewarding, but when you share your ministry experience with others you’re connected with, the reward is exponentially greater.
• Expand the community of those you serve with. Life is busy. Just becasue you’re one a 9:30 Early Childhood ministry team doesn’t mean relationally you going to connect with everyone on your team. Since you’re already serving, ask a friend or another family member to serve with you. That way you can have a shared ministry experience with someone you’re already in community with.

I’ve found both of these concepts to be so incredibly true. Some of the best relationship I’ve had in my life have been with those I serve with, both as volunteers and as staff. In the last several years, I’ve made intentional efforts to develop strong relationships with those outside my church. It’s true that higher up in leadership, there are less people in your organization to really connect with relationally. It is possible to feel a certain amount of loneliness within your organization, which is why it’s so important to develop key relationships outside of your organizations. Connect with others doing the same job as you. That way when things are tough and few people understand what you’re going through, you’ve got someone to talk to that understands, can encourage you and pray with you. When you need ideas or a fresh perspective, call on these other relationships. As I transitioned into a new job almost two years ago, I was able to lean heavily on good friends who remained consistent in my life although everything else for me changed.

It doesn’t have to be so lonely at the top, it’s just up to you to make it that way.

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How I came to know Jim Wideman

Posted on 02. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

So two weeks ago I ventured out on a Kidmin Road Trip, but the main reason I organized the little adventure was because I had an Infuse retreat with Jim Wideman. It was a great retreat, but I’ll get to that later. I’d like to tell you how I came to know Jim Wideman. I’m writing this not to brag or boast who I know, but perhaps encourage you with my story. Why? Because it may serve you well to get to know Jim Wideman as well and the only thing holding you back is you.

So you have to know something about me. Although I’m a very self-confident person and an off the charts extrovert, I tend to be a little shy and soft-spoken in situations where I’m not in my element. When I’m comfortable in a place or with people I know, I’ll do or say anything. So, some of you might be able to relate to my level of timidness, even though you probably wouldn’t have noticed this at all from reading this blog or meeting me in person.

So I first learned of Jim about 12 years ago when I lived in Tulsa. I was very familiar with Church on the Move, but I knew more about Willie George than I did Brother Jim. After visiting COTM several times and getting the grand tour, I came to at least know who Jim was. Just a few months before I moved away from Tulsa, I attended a wedding for my parents. It was their pastor’s son and I was representing them by attending. The groom was a key leader in Kids on the Move and Brother Jim was sitting int he row in front of me. I remember telling my wife, “Hey, I think that’s the Children’s Pastor at Church on the Move.” My wife said that I should introduce myself. I didn’t. Mainly because of that timid thing I sometimes deal with.

So, fast forward many years to just 3 years ago. I’ve read several of Brother Jim’s books, listened to seminar breakouts on tape and had a very healthy respect for what Jim had to say. No one was communicating “leadership” in children’s ministry the way Jim was. I had just started blogging and all of a sudden, out of nowhere I get a comment on one of my blog posts from Jim Wideman. What an honor. Jim was reading what I had to say? No way. Then a few weeks later I blogged about the birth of my son Titus and what a proud day that was for me. Again, Jim left a kind comment relating him becoming a father for the first time. Who was this important man who was keeping an eye on me? It was a few months after that when I lost my job and moved back to South Georgia to help my paretns with their business while I searched for my next job. When Jim came to DFW and I didn’t show up for a seminar he was teaching, he messaged me on facebook and asked where I was and why I didn’t come. Again, honored that he’d take the time to seek me out like that. I told him what happened with my job and he messaged me back with his phone number and told me to give him a call.

I won’t get into my timidness about giving calling this chidlrens ministry giant, but I did call him and he was so gracious and kind. I was able to spew out all the things I had been thinking about, my thoughts about my future in ministry and he had very sound advice that resonated with my soul. It was in that moment where I was at a crossroads of where I could go next, Jim pointed me in the right direction. I’ll never forget that phone call. Since then (three years ago), I’ve had many phone conversations, email conversations and shared meals with this great man and I’m better for it. Let me tell you why I’ve been so fortunate. Because Jim has been called by God to speak into the lives of the next Generation of Chidlren’s Pastors. I’m so fortunate simply becasue Jim’s obedient to the Lord. I think even more so than me, Jim’s got his eye on the up and coming Children’s Leaders still in their 20′s.

So, all that being said… I’m nothing special (actually I am, my mom tells me I am all the time). If you want to learn and grow from Jim like I have, the only thing stopping you is you. Seriously. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a children’s pastor of 30 kids or 300 kids, Jim will speak into your life and he’s created margin in his life to do this. Here are some steps I’d suggest.

• Buy his books. Jim’s incredibly methodical and efficient. I’ve heard him get asked many questions where he simply replies, “read my book such and such, I talk about that in there.” So if you want to learn from Jim, read his books. Then when you get a chance to ask him questions, do it in the context of information you’re wrestling with from his book. He’ll appreciate that. Click here to get some of his books.
• Read and comment on his blog. Brother Jim has been actively blogging for the last three years with several posts a week. Most of his blog posts are concepts and principles he’s taught over the years. Go through and read his blog, interact with what he’s written. Leave comments or ask questions. Click here to visit the blog.
• Go visit Jim. It may be the best money you spend this year. Brother Jim is hosting several one day events at his home church in Tennessee. The price is more than reasonable and you’ll get to learn from him in a close setting. You’ll get time to get to know him a little and him get to know you.
• Consider joining Infuse. His next one won’t be starting until the Fall, but there’s no better way to really get to know this man and him get to know you than spending significant time with him like you will in Infuse.
• Oh, I almost forgot. Subscribe to theClub. It’s his monthly leadership message he’s been doing for YEARS. Definitely sign up for that.

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New books from Jim Wideman

Posted on 01. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

Two weeks ago I got to spend a few days with Jim Wideman. If you’re  a Children’s Pastor and you’re not familiar with Jim Wideman, what rock have you been hiding under? This week I’m going to share a little about the impact this man has had on my life over the past 3 years. The cool thing is that he’s not this “far-from-reach” guy, but very approachable and so willing to mentor the next generation of leaders. More on that later though.

While with him I picked up three new books. One of them is a book he’s had out for a while (I’ve just never read it) and the other two are brand new.

Connect with your kids has been out for at least a few years. I really don’t know a lot about it other than I’ve had a lot of people recommend it to me (other than Jim). My boss here at Gateway met Jim several years ago and picked up a copy and had told me about the book on many occasions. In addition, my friend Jonathan Cliff has given out TONS of these books as gifts to his paretns. So, I picked up 15-20 of these little books. I’ll write a review in a few weeks so you’ll have more info about this as a resource. Click here to order a copy for yourself… or a dozen.

One of Jim’s newest books is this one: Beat the Clock. If you’ve spent any time at all with Jim in a conference or any kind of mentoring relationship, you’ve heard about time management strategies. He’s the guru when it comes to managing his time. I often joke with people that he schedules his bathroom breaks. The amazing thing is that he’ll tell you that he never was naturally organized this way. This has become a learned behavior which has given me hope. I haven’t read this one yet, but I know it’s going to be worth your time… and as a result it will probably save you time. Click here to buy it!

I know absolutely nothing about this book, but I’m very excited about reading it. I’m betting that this is going to be a great resource for our parents, especially those with kids who are a little bit older. I’ll be reading this one in a few weeks and I’ll review it for you as well. Click here to pick up your copy.

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Dear kidmin curriculum publishers: Conclusion

Posted on 23. Feb, 2010 by Kenny.

Okay, I never intended this series to jump into a third week. Sorry, my week last week got a little busy.

I just thought I’d wrap it up with a few closing thoughts.

Here’s what we explored:

• Defining Roles
• Curriculum Distribution
• Video Curriculum
• Leveraging Creative Collaboration
• Family Content
• Video Access
• Independent Standards

There were some great conversations on some of these posts. If you missed any, be sure to check them out.

There seemed to be a lot of agreement from other Children’s Pastors in response to these posts. I expected as much since I wrote these based on personal frustrations as well as hearing first hand what others have been frustrated about. However, the point of this series wasn’t to complain to publishers. We have a symbiotic relationship with publishers and if we don’t tell them what we want, they won’t produce what we want. I know of at least three publishers who were reading this series, so hopefully the conversations happening around these topics have given them things to consider.

Most importantly of all, communicate with your publisher. Tell them what you like and what you don’t like, it’s the only way your publishers will have the feedback necessary to build your dream curriculum.

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Personal investment equals great influence: followup thoughts

Posted on 04. Feb, 2010 by Kenny.

Yesterday I posted about something Andy Stanley said in the first paragraph of the forward of Think Orange. Click here to read it.

Essentially, I wrote about North Point being so successful in their efforts to reach families. One of the driving forces behind their success was that most of the key leadership and staff had skin in the game. It was so important to be successful in this area becasue their kids and families were at stake too. It sounds selfish, but it’s the truth. We always show more interest in the things that are going to affect us most.

So, what if the average age of the senior leadership at your church is in their mid to late 50′s? You’re passionate about children’s ministry, but the senior leadership really has not “personal” investment in your ministry (other than the fact that most healthy churches have strong ministries to kids). What do you do? How do you convince your leadership that your area has great needs that they don’t see?

There’s probably a hundred ways to answer this question, but I’ll answer it the way I’d approach it. Actually, I’ll answer it the way I’m dealing with this right now. Gateway is not a “family” church. We do have families and they are very important here, but Gateway is not laser focused on families. Half of the church is single and the church is very missional toward reaching the post-modern crowd, and many of that crowd are not parents yet. There are a few on the senior leadership of Gateway that have young kids, but it’s certainly not a majority. So what is the vision and leadership laser focused on? Serving the community and spiritual multiplication is though. So the way I’m leading (especially this year) is to minister to kid and families with excellence, but putting a lot of effort into serving our community through our ministry and creating an environment where NexGen is a hotbed for spiritual multiplication for both kids and adults. If I do that well, I’m serving my church well and I’ll get what I need to be successful. My senior leadership will fuel what’s working.

So, figure out what the senior leadership is most passionate about at your church and see if you can find common ground to fulfill that passion through your ministry. If you can’t find common ground, you’ll never be successful where you’re at and it’s doubtful your ministry will ever be remarkable. That’s basic leadership. Serve the vision of your leadership and you’ll be successful. If it’s not a fit, you’d be better off somewhere else where you can serve the vision of the leadership.

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Casting vision to your church staff (conclusion)

Posted on 11. Dec, 2009 by Kenny.

Thanks for allowing me to crank out 5 or 6 posts all about a 90 minute meeting I had over a week ago. I cranked out a lot of words, but hopefully there was some stuff in there you found helpful. Enough teasing though.

• Here is the handout every staff member had.
• Here’s the same handout with the blanks filled in.
• Here’s my script. I tend to write out my talks rather than outline, so this is essentially everything I said.

So what did I learn from this experience?

• I’m disappointed that I haven’t done this before (at least to this capacity). From this point on, I’ll ask to lead our all-staff at least once every year.
• Although they didn’t know it, the staff wanted to hear about NextGen. It’s not that they don’t care, they just don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “I wonder what’s happening with the kids this week.” However, I had everyone’s attention and they were truly interested in what was being said.
• People truly do respond to vision, even if it’s not a vision that pulls them to action. Since my talk last week, I’ve had many questions about NextGen and a few people wanting to do more to be involved. Most in the room won’t do anything more for NextGen tangibly, but so many were inspired by the vision of this important ministry and will represent NextGen well from this point on.
• Like I said earlier, a good meeting takes time to develop. I put in at least 15 hours into planning, writing and preparation and the end results were more than worth the time invested. This has greatly challenged me toward the level of preparedness that I come to other meetings with.
• Google Wave is a useful tool. I used Wave with several people from my staff. We were able to walk into our first meeting with several notes on the Wave that several people had contributed to. Wave was also the platform we used to document our notes while we were meeting. In the end, I took it out of wave and finalized the talk in Word.

I think that does it for me.

If you haven’t done it before, arrange an opportunity to talk to your staff about what you do and why it’s so important. Most of us don’t have a problem communicating passion, just take plenty of time to organize your thoughts so it really grabs the attention of your listeners.

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Casting vision to your church staff (Part 5)

Posted on 10. Dec, 2009 by Kenny.

Here is my final post concerning my recent opportunity to cast vision for Next Gen to my church staff. If you’ve missed my other posts, you can find them here, here, here and here.

The introduction and first two points built a really strong case for Next Gen. I had the staff right where I wanted them and they had the information they needed to communicate Next Gen well. My last point was were I practically pulled the rug out from under their feet. I presented the greatest problem we face.

Point number three was: Next Gen can’t do it alone.

I read Barna’s description of a biblical worldview. How many of those 18-23 years of age possess a biblical world view? Less than 1%.

Wait a second. I thought that 30% of all Christ followers come to faith before the age of 14. Certainly those would amount to more than 1% of the total 18-23 population.  Just becasue they’re Christ followers doesn’t mean they have a biblical worldview. Is it possible that the church is graduating into college anemic and under-informed Christ followers. Apparently so.

85% of young adults 23-30 years stopped attending church for at least a year between the ages of 18-22. Why is it that our high school grads are abandoning the church by the boat loads?

Because what we’ve been doing for the past 20 years in Children’s and Student ministry hasn’t been working.

“But one of the lessons that emerged from the research on which my earlier book was based was that churches alone do not and
cannot have much influence on children. In fact, the greatest influence a church may have in affecting children is by impacting their
parents.” – Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna

If we don’t equip the parents to lead their own kids spiritually, we WILL BE UNSUCCESSFUL in equipping the next generation to be Christ followers who are strong in their faith.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have a crystal clear solution to present. The Next Gen staff is still working on this, something we’re calling the “Parent Path.” However, what we needed the staff to know was that although Next Gen is vital and effective, parents have to take the lead. We have hundreds of leaders who are pouring into adults at Gateway, but most of them are focused primarily on their own spiritual growth… not the spiritual growth of their kids.

I asked the staff to listen closely to one thing. I asked them to pass this one thing on to all of the leaders they oversee. “When looking at the list of people you’re spiritually pouring in to, if your own kids aren’t at the top of the list, then you’ve totally missed it. You can be responsible for leading hundreds who’ve multiplied spiritually to thousands, but if you’ve lost your own kids… you will live with regrets. What you’ve done won’t matter by comparison.”

I ended with that and allowed the staff to discuss some questions at their tables. Following this, they closed in prayer, specifically for the parents at Gateway.

Tomorrow I’ll wrap up with one more post. I’ll share my feedback and review of this powerful time. In addition, I’ll leave you with the outline every staff member had as well as my notes.

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Casting vision to your church staff (Part 4)

Posted on 10. Dec, 2009 by Kenny.

Yesterday I wrapped up my first point in my vision casting to my staff, about how Next Gen is Strategic, Vital and Urgent.

My second point was:

Next Gen isn’t just about Kids and Students.

This part may or may not be true of your church, but it is of Gateway. So, this may not apply to your situation.

Here at Gateway we have a connection path that is well known by the staff and leaders. Essentially a person begins the connection path by ATTENDING our church. Then we try to get them to CONNECT either in a small group or spiritual running partner relationship. The next step would be to take steps of spiritual GROWTH in the context of their small group or running partner group. Last of all they will make efforts to SERVE, usually through their group but sometimes individually. Gateway is fairly community outreach active and we have lots of serving opportunities. So, this is the generally accepted and known path for connection.

ATTEND >> CONNECT >> GROW >> SERVE

This is a great model. Nothing wrong with it. It works.

However, I wanted to suggest another model. It’s a good one two. It works as well.

ATTEND >> SERVE >> CONNECT >> GROW >>

In the end, we want people to do more than attend. We want them to grow, connect and serve. We don’t really care as much about the order… as long as they are growing and serving in a connected community. As long as we get there, it doesn’t matter what path they take.

I know that there are many people who don’t like small groups. The idea of meeting in someone’s home with a bunch of people they don’t know freaks them out a little. Some people have more of a ‘Martha” complex (whether that’s bad or not). You can’t always force people through a mold. So we suggest that Next Gen provides another great connection path. As a staff or leader who is talking to a visitor or person who is not connected, we can ask them questions that might reveal the best way for them to get connected. It won’t take long to determine if they’ll do better plugging into a small group or if they should serve in Next Gen.

However, we’ve become very intentional about our connection process in Next Gen. It’s not just about the Kids and Students. Our leaders in Next Gen have a task role of leading program related stuff, but they also have a spiritual role of leading the volunteers that serve in their area. They work intentionally to build relationships with their volunteers and get into their lives. Our mission is that every volunteer would feel like they are part of a community and would experience spiritual growth BECAUSE they serve in Next Gen. That’s our connection path.

Here are a few stories of our volunteers and leaders who have experienced life change as a result of serving.

The last point I shared was a quote from Thom Rainer from the book, “Surprising Insights from the Unchurched.”

“Sixty-two percent of those interviewed gave us a response that indicated their ministry involvement to be the glue that held them
to the church. From the perspective of the formerly unchurched, being involved in ministry has been the kdy factor to their
assimilation in the church. More than any other factor, the formerly unchurched told us that their service and ministry in the church
keeps them coming back each week.”

So, small groups is a great way to connect people and help them stick to what God is doing. However, according to research, connecting people in ministry involvement connects people even better.

So, as a staff person is talking to someone who needs to be connected, think about these things:

• They’ll experience a greater sense of connection through serving. Next Gen might be ideal.
• Many small groups don’t have room for more people… however, Next Gen has plenty of room.
• Child Care. A lot of great groups don’t provide childcare. If you serve in Kids Quest, child care is built in.

You see, Next Gen isn’t just about Kids and Students. It’s a great place for adults to find connection and growth all in the context of serving kids and students. In my opinion, it’s the best way to get connected. But I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I felt any other way, right?

Next up… my final point is: Next Gen can’t do it alone.

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Casting vision to your church staff (Part 3)

Posted on 09. Dec, 2009 by Kenny.

I ended yesterday with the introduction of my vision talk to my church staff.

I asked the question, “what would Gateway look like if Next Gen didn’t exist?” I knew what their answers would be. You do too. It actually generates a lot of laughter. We imagine a chaotic place. Kids running everywhere. We imagine a noisy auditorium with squealing kids. Maybe even roaming gangs of Middle Schoolers roughing people up in the parking lot. These were some of the things people said. One person said, “we’d have a lot less people.”

After I got a handful of predictable answers, I let them in on the secret. I told them that the question was a set up. I expected their answers. Why? Because most people have preconceived notions about ministry to young people and I was playing toward that notion. I then said, “If your initial thoughts and answers about what Gateway would look like without Next Gen was about how its absence would affect the general adult experience, you’ve missed the point entirely.” Nearly every answer was in the context of how the adult service would be affected or about how the experience would not be attractive to adults. This lead me to my first point:

Next Gen is Strategic, Vital and Urgent…

I began telling the staff about George Barna and how he wrote a book on accident. I told how he was doing research and the results lead him to see something he’d never seen before. He had an epiphany. This expert more than 25 years of experience of studying everything about the church had a life-altering realization that caused him to write a book about it. You know the book. Transforming Children int Spiritual Champions. Unfortunately, no one read this book. Let’s be real honest. One of the most influential people in the church today wrote a book about his biggest epiphany and this is what the book looks like?

Reality check. No one is going to read this book but Children’s Pastors. That’s unfortunate. However, I shared the first couple of quotes from Barna about his realization… how he missed the boat and the ocean. I then gave some of the stats about how most Christ followers come to faith while they are young people and set the stage for the punch to the gut.

So, if most people feel that the absence of Next Gen is bad becasue it would affect the adult experience… we missed the point entirely. A church with no Next Gen would be removing the most effective and efficient arm of evangelism in the Church (I used a big C becasue I wasn’t just talking about Gateway). Yes, a strong and effective church needs a good children’s and student ministry. But it’s not just about having a good Children’s Ministry for the sake of the rest of the church. It’s about having a great Children’s ministry becasue some of the greatest work of the Holy Spirit happening each weekend is happening in the Kids building. Period.

I wrapped up this point talking abut the Strategic, Vital and Urgent nature of Next gen. It’s strategic because this is the age when people are open to Christ. There’s no better time. Although Gateway excels in reaching lost adults (haft the church came to faith at Gateway) that doesn’t mean our biggest influx of new believers won’t still come from Next Gen. It’s Vital becasue the church does need a strong ministry to kids and students to bring in families. Last of all, it’s Urgent because if we don’t reach these kids before they hit the age of 13, statistically they probably won’t come to faith at all.

I ended this point be leading them into table discussion around this information. Next we’d hit our second point which was: Next Gen isn’t just about Kids and Students.

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