Childrens Ministry Online

Two great articles on sexuality

Posted on 26. Jan, 2011 by Kenny.

Since I didn’t realize that Children’s Ministry Magazine had a great article on this important topic, I figured I’d search their site to see if there were any more. Yes, two great articles!

Click here for their article on how children understand sexuality at different points of their development. It would be a great resource for parents to understand what their kids know, what kinds of questions their kids are going to be asking and how to deal with those questions. Excellent information.

The second article I found was directed toward ministry leaders. It deals with how to tackle difficult conversations and situation involving a variety of sexual topics. Everything from engaging a family of same sex parents, working with children who have gender identity issues and encountering kids who are engaging in conversations about sexuality. This article thoroughly describes scenarios, what to do if it happens in your ministry and how to respond. We live in a culture and time where we WILL face these situations and we need to be ready to handle them. Why, we’re called to love these families as God loves them and out of our uncomfortability or perceived aversion to some of these situations, we could send a message to these families that they are judged, unwanted or worthless.

Thanks for these great resources for families and ministries.

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Things I’ve learned from Jim Wideman (part 3)

Posted on 04. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

One very important thing I learned from Jim Wideman on my last visit to Tennessee involved pacing in ministry. We’ve all got dreams for our ministries and more than anything, we’d like to see them all come true… sooner than later. If you’re like me, you get frustrated with how long change seems to take. Can you relate?

I’ve had the privilege of seeing the handiwork of Brother Jim at both Church on the Move as well as at World Outreach Church. The difference is night and day. The Children’s Ministry at World Outreach Church looks nothing like the Children’s Ministry at Church on the Move. Although he’s made a lot of changes in the last two years, I guess I just expected more (don’t get me wrong, Jim does everything with excellence. It’s just when you see what he did at Church on the Move you kinda expect that). When people would ask him about it, he’d smile and say he’s working on it and he figures he’ll have everything the way he wants it within five to ten years. That way he’ll have a good 20 years to enjoy the changes he’s made. WOW!

For 90% of us we have difficulty fathoming a ten year run at something, much less 30 years. Jim said the problem with him in his first three churches is that he approached ministry as a sprint rather than a marathon. When building a ministry that will last and make a significant impact for decades to come, it may take a little more time than 2-4 years to outfit.

One clarification that Brother Jim did make shouldn’t be missed. He explained that we should all aim for excellence and strive to make what we do great. No one can complain with great. If what we have is great and we’re in the process of developing something even better, then there’s nothing wrong with that. Our third and fourth graders might not be able to experience the incredible program we have planned for 2-3 years from now, but what they will get is great and that’s okay. It’s a good thing if your ministry resembles a marathon rather than a sprint. Since coming back from Tennessee I’ve been mentally scrapping some things I was thinking about starting up this year. I really want to do all those things, but I’ve got time, right?

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I’ve noticed something about the top 100 church blogs

Posted on 06. Jan, 2010 by Kenny.

The other day I bumped into Kent Shaffer’s list of top church blogs. Many of them I follow or at least visit occasionally. Several of them I’ve never heard of. This list isn’t Kent’s favorite blogs, it’s determined by readership subscriptions, page ranks, technorati ranks, and several other factors. They’re on the list because they have thousands of readers.

Here’s something interesting I noticed. Just a few years ago, these blogs didn’t exist. This type of information was typically distributed in magazines. Most of these blog authors would be regularly featured in ministry magazines. I’m simply amazed by how much more information is available to us today as opposed to a few years ago when magazines had the sole responsibility of distributing this kind of information. Sure, magazines do a great job of editing and through these 100 most popular blogs, we get a fair amount of “fluff.” I’m not saying that the magazine is dead, but the blog certainly has crowded the platform they used to hold exclusively.

Oh, one more thing I’ve noticed. Where are the magazines? On this list of top 100 church blogs, only one of them is a magazine (that I could tell). That’s Collide Magazine. Where are the others? There are several other great ministry magazines that have INCREDIBLE content, yet they’re only delivering it analog. When I look at the industry as a whole, magazines are putting most if not all of their content online whether you are a subscriber or not and they’re dominating in the blogging world. I don’t know that much about the magazine world, but why aren’t all the ministry magazines topping the list of this list of top church blogs? I’m sure it has to do with profitability and subscribership and not wanting to cannibalize paid subscriptions with free online access. However, how does Collide do it?

Just my random thoughts and questions.

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Thoughts on Oral Robert’s life

Posted on 21. Dec, 2009 by Kenny.

Today at 2:00, the Memorial service will air here.

His passing last week has given me time to think about the significance of this man. I’ve found that over the years, the mere mention of his name (either because it was the school I was planning to attend or becasue it was the school I attended) typically brings a reaction. About 60% of the time, I get a benign response from someone who knows little to nothing of the man/school or thinks highly of the man/school. About 30% of the time I get the “look.” It’s the one eye big, other eye narrow, “REALLY, you went to that school. I’m really confused right now and I think I’m going to keep a closer eye on you now” look. Then about 10% of the time I get the full confrontational/negative verbal response. That one’s always fun.

So, regardless of what you thing of the man or the school that bears his name, let me share with you some of my thoughts to honor this man.

I’ve never met the man. Once, while in the television studio at ORU, he walked past me and put his hand on my shoulder as he walked by, but I don’t count that as an introduction. I did read his autobiography, “Expect a Miracle” before becoming a student. I remember enjoying it, but that was a long time ago. From the book, I learned about lot about the life of this great man. He had a tremendous impact around the world. I can only hope to have that kind of vision and that kind of influence. Absolutely amazing!

But here’s what I do know, and this has nothing to do with denomination, theology or experiences. I am who I am today because of the ministry of Oral Roberts and I’m so very grateful! When I was a teenager I went on several mission trips with Teen Mania Ministries. They were transformational experiences led by 20-something leaders that I wanted to be like. The common thread between (almost) all the leaders on these trips is that they all were ORU graduates. I knew next to nothing about ORU, but I knew I wanted what these leaders had. Several years later I found myself at ORU as a student.

Forget everything you’ve ever seen on TV or read in the paper about ORU for a second. Personally, everything I’ve seen on TV and read in the papers was the polar opposite I experience on the ground as a student at ORU. I visited several Christian colleges the year before enrolling at ORU, and none of them compared to ORU. There was something about students at ORU. I knew that if I just got in the middle of it, my life would change. Sure, there was plenty of garbage going on like at any school, but there was an amazing spirit among the students. I had several classes I could have lived without, but so many of the classes (whether business classes or Bible/theology) were places where I could grow educationally as well as spiritually. Classes were almost always started with prayer and often times students prayed for each other’s needs. It was beautiful. Through my time at ORU I grew intellectually, spiritually and professionally. I developed ministry skills as a director of Friendship/Adoption ministries for community outreach and I grew in leadership as a Men’s Resident Advisor which was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. Also, at ORU, I met my wonderful wife. As a result of friends and other ORU related influences, I was prepared to meet my wife and to date her until we were married. So, if you’ve ever been glad to know me or blessed by any thoughts I’ve had to offer, know that in a large part, it’s thanks to the influence of God’s worth through Oral Roberts.

I’m thankful for his long and purposeful life today.

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Comparison of facebook pages and groups

Posted on 01. Sep, 2009 by Kenny.

Yesterday I wrote about pages as opposed to groups in the facebook universe. I guess I’m just encouraging people to take advantages of pages for all they have to offer. Groups has been around longer and most of us have more experience with groups. Groups make more sense. They feel safe and community like. However, that’s just becasue we don’t completely understand why you’d use a page. Like I said yesterday, groups have their place and you’ll still use them. However, there may be some things you want to use pages for instead of groups.

So, here’s a little comparison. Here are the things that both groups and pages can do:

• Wall discussions
• Discussion boards
• Photos
• Videos
• Send messages to members/fans
• Create related events

What can a group do that a page can’t?

• Be obscure – remain totally hidden to everyone but those in the group.
• Be exclusive – only allow who you want in the group if you roll that way.

What can pages do that groups can’t?

• Access to applications – certain apps have been developed exclusively for pages
• Page Statistics – kinda like analytics for you page
• Demographic messaging – send notifications to all your fans or fans of specific gender, ages or locations
• Vanity URL – Once you have enough fans, you can claim a vanity URL like www.facebook.com/yourname
• Advertising – You can drive people to your page through advertising where you determine demographic targets and pay by clicks or impressions

The other big advantage of pages are that they are more viral in nature. Unless the administrator of the group you belong to sends out a message, you may forget you are in it. Other people won’t know you’re in it either. With pages, all of your friends will see you interact with the page as it will show up in your feed. So, people find pages rather quickly. In addition, pages ave viewable outside of facebook. That means the information on your facebook group can be seen by anyone. That also means it can be indexed by the search engines unlike groups or anything else within the facebook walled garden.

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Success, Failure and Courage

Posted on 27. Jul, 2009 by Kenny.

My friend and co-worker Michael Warden wrote a post last week interacting with this quote from Winston Churchill. What a great quote that’s been stirring me up lately.

“Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts.” — Winston Churchill

It’s prompted me to aks a lot of questions of myslef:

• What old successes have I been living off of?
• When was the last time I failed? Am I not taking big enough risks?
• What have I done lately that required courage on my part?

What do you thinik?

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Good advice we all need to hear

Posted on 10. Jun, 2009 by Kenny.

On Sunday I found out about a church planter who just resigned from his church of five years because he was having an affair with his assistant.

This is the kind of news that ruins my day.

There have been way too many godly men and church leaders in my life who have fallen into moral sin that have cost them their ministries. The lucky ones some how managed to hang on to their families. Not that these sins just pop out of nowhere or that they aren’t related to another pattern or dysfunction, but for a lot of these people, everything they’ve built and have worked for is gone in an instant. For some of these people (due to the nature of leading a community) friendships are gone forever.

Every time I hear about a pastor or leader who falls, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. The realization hits me of how weak and vulnerable I am. If these men, one’s that I’ve looked up to as rock stars of the Christian faith, who says it’s not going to happen to me. I don’t know, it’s just the way I feel. I’m an incredibly optimistic person, but when I look at the list I start to see that I really am vulnerable.

Jeff Surratt wrote an incredible response to this situation. Read it here. No seriously, read it here!

Here are the main points:

• If you think you aren’t vulnerable, you are already toast
• If you think you can burn the candle at both ends, you are already toast
• If you think you can do ministry without accountability, you are already toast
• If you think you don’t need safeguards, you are already toast
• If you think it’s about you, you are already toast

I feel like I’ve made a lot of headway in most of these areas. However, I’ve got to keep this in front of me and not let any of these things fail, otherwise I’m headed for a fall.

My family is more important. My ministry is more important. The people I’m reaching out to are more important.

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Ted and Gale Haggard interview

Posted on 12. May, 2009 by Kenny.

I don’t know if I just missed this information, but just the other day I ran across Elevation Church’s (dynamic church in Charlotte, NC) video message where Steven Furtick interviewed Ted and Gale Haggard. Here is the video.

It’s an incredible message that everyone needs to hear. I always had a tremendous amount of respect for Ted. I have a lot of family and friends who attend New Life Church in Colorado and Ted used to come to my college and speak quite a bit. There is no doubt that God has used this man.

It truly does break my heart to see what he’s gone through. Yes, what he’s experiencing now is the consequence of his sin. We also must remember that God disciplines those he loves. He claims now to have a closer relationship with his wife than ever before and his relationship with God is more powerful than ever before. It’s unfortunate that he had to walk through the fire (and still is) to get to this place.

What humbles me about Ted’s story is about how a similar situation could happen to any one of us. All of us could be just one poor decision away from a career ending mistake or a marriage ending mistake. These poor decisions may seem unlikely to us, but small compromises can make destructive decisions very easy. My life is not ruled by fear, but I do have a healthy fear concerning this stuff. I’ve seen too many great men of God fall in similar ways. Am I any better than them? How is my story going to be any different?

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Orange 09: Breakout C – Message: Rules of Engagement… the Art of Communication

Posted on 04. May, 2009 by Kenny.

This session was led by a previous White House Communication Director. He had many great things to say about communication.

Communication is about understanding people and having conversations. It’s about content and delivery.

Communication is both an art and a science. We need to master the art and understand the science.

Life boils down to two things:

• Uncontrolled events
• 10,000 hour rule (working hard)

You are always communicating, even when you say nothing.

When in sales, you focus on the relationship. The sale is the fruit of the relationship.

Persuasive Conversation

The goal of conversation is to affect behavior (occasionally it is to raise awareness)

Two keys to persuasion

• Be likable (be yourself). Humor is only a tool if you’re funny. Be reasonable.
• Be honest. Don’t be intellectually dishonest. We love to tell stories and we don’t let the facts get in the way.

Concede when necessary… one of the most important tactics. Making concessions when necessary build credibility… but don’t take your time.

Concede for a few seconds and then make your point. People will identify with you.

Cognitive Disciplines

The brain has a need for consistency.

When attacked with negativity, the brain shrinks, when positive it expands allowing to take in more information.

Dissonance- Raising your guard.

Ways to decrease dissonance

• Always lead with the positive.
• Humility – You will win more points, debates and conversations by losing.
• Watch your body language – Only 7% of communication is verbal.
• Tone – can be dismissive and condescending. When we talk about things normal in our life that is not normal in another person’s life, we hurt them. The #1 platform for being tone deaf is email. Email is not the place for sarcasm or discipline.

Message Preparation

One Sentence Rule – Say what you want to say in one sentence. Start with it, end with it and work it in.

Message box – The boundary between what you don’t’ know and what is not appropriate.

Be disciplined. You cannot be an expert on everything.

“I don’t know” can be the most intelligent thing you can say.

“I’m not an expert on that” or “I can’t really speak to that with so and so not in the room.”

The goal of any message

• Clear: Say what you have to say.
• Concise: Economy of words.
• Compelling: Assume the questions “So what?”

Crisis Management

• Speed – You have to move fast.
• Transparency – Be open. “This is what we know right now”

Lawyers are the enemny of both.

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Blogging dead? Say it aint so.

Posted on 28. Oct, 2008 by Kenny.

This has been bugging me for a many days now. The fact that I haven’t just let it go or forgotten about it is the part of what bugs me. Steven Dilla, the Preschool Pastor at Fellowship Church, Grapvine (and an incredibly great guy, he gave me a fantastic tour a few months ago… thanks Matt for introducing me to Steven) deleted his blog. He read this article and then deleted it.

Now I’m a big fan of Wired magazine and really appreciate the insight on technology and culture. After reading the article myself I would have to say that I agree. Blogging is so 2004.

However, the true question is, “am I ready for change?”

I don’t know that I am… yet. I think Steven is absolutely right. The Christian bubble is always 10 steps behind what is happening in the rest of the world. Since I entered the blogosphere about 18 months ago, I’ve been incredibly blessed. What an amazing community, and it is growing (but it doesn’t seem to be growing as fast as I would have expected it to).

Other than a select few, I don’t read magazines anymore. They’re almost dead to me. I get my information mostly from blogs. Rather than read an article from certain church leaders whenever a magazine has them write, I can hear their thoughts without the buffer of a publisher.

I’m just not convinced we’ve totally seen what’s next… but maybe I need it a little more spelled out. I twitter and find it to be an amazing tool for connection. But it’s not exactly replacing blogging. Neither is Facebook. So, I’m still looking. I think I’m willing to make a change, but maybe not until the next platform is a little more established… or visible. But that’s just me. I’m an early adopter, just maybe not the pioneer.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

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