I’m pumped! Tomorrow I leave for Dallas for the Dallas Orange Tour. This year I’m taking about 24 volunteers and staff. This year I’m actually bringing more student ministry volunteers than those in kidmin. For the last 6 months I’ve been far more involved in student ministry than I have in the past and I wanted to make a big investment in these leaders… plus I want them to start thinking Orange. These student ministry leaders were so excited to be invited, which is why I have about 18 going.

I can’t over-communicate how important these kinds of events are for ministry teams. I’ve been to the Orange Conference for the past 4 years and I’ll probably continue to attend for some time. The conference has impacted me and influenced me tremendously and I want the same for my staff and volunteers, but I can’t always bring all of them due to money issues, but something like the Orange Tour is a complete no brainer. I’m taking 24 and by the time I pay hotel, food and registration, it cost me less than sending 2 to Atlanta for Orange. To help out, I’m even having the volunteers car pool and cover their travel expenses.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the Orange Conference, but there is something really special about the Orange Tour. Because the entire thing is hosted directly by Reggie and Sue, it feels far more pure and concentrated. You’ll leve the Tour with a strong grasp of what the Orange strategy is all about… maybe even better than the conference. I’d encourage everyone to attend a tour stop… even if that means catching a flight into one of their locations. I’ll be blogging about my tour experience next week (since I don’t blog a lot over the weekend), so stay tuned!

I’m writing an article about the relationship between children’s pastors and student pastors. Interesting subject, huh? I’m pretty much done with the article, but I’d love to gather some data around one element I wrote about. So, would you answer the single question below describing the relationship between your student ministry and children’s ministry. First, let me define the relationships:

Dysfunction Junction: You totally don’t get along. There is virtually no relationship. Communication is non-existent, dismissive or even hostile.

Mutual Existence: The relationship between your two ministries is healthy. There is a respect for each other, maybe even friendship. Although respect is present, the ministries don’t really work together, culture, values and practices are different.

Integrated Partnership: The two ministries work together on many projects. Resources and ideas are shared freely and both ministries work together toward a common goal.

So, which description best describes this relationship at your church? (feel free to be honest, votes are anonymous. I promise… I won’t… or can’t… send the results to your student pastor.)

In order to get good results, I need data. Pass this post/poll on to others to answer so we can get some good information about the state student ministry / children’s ministry relations.

So, I’m four months into a search for a Student Pastor. I’m well connected within Kidmin circles, but not so much among the student pastors out there. I’ve had some resumes from some great candidates, some that I’m still talking with. However, I do feel that we’re looking for a pretty unique individual and it is possible that the search could continue for a few months. So, below is my blurb on Church Staffing. If you know someone who might be the right fit or perhaps you’re the right fit, please send your resume to hr@gatewaychurch.com. However before the blurb, let me share the minimum requirements we’re looking at.

• Minimum of 5 years experience leading students; record of leading student ministries with 250+ weekly attendance.
• Ability to develop and lead adult staff and leaders who in turn organize and lead the ministry.
• Candidate must have an authentic, active walk with Christ and exhibit Christ-like character. Candidate must personally model the Way of Christ and ensure that all leaders are taking next steps to walk the Way of Christ.
• Highly organized with ability to trouble-shoot, create processes and systems with a strong eye for detail.
• Strong gifts in the area of leading/shepherding with teambuilding and interpersonal skills.

I’ll post more this week about what we’re looking for specifically and some of the things I’ve been learning about student ministry over the past four months. It’s been quite the education.

Attention Student Pastors:

Ever feel like the typical and traditional model of student ministry was broken? Have you ever wished you could start over and build a new methodology of reaching students and their families from the ground up?

Gateway Church in sunny (and weird) Austin, Texas is on the search for a very unusual student pastor. This person will work in one of the most exciting and creative churches in the country. Gateway is a highly missional community that is neck-deep in a culture of people who are very far from God. Working in this culture requires one to be comfortable engaging post-modern, post-Christian people who love the arts, tex-mex and their college football (it helps to like burnt orange). Gateway, with its motto of “No Perfect People Allowed” works tirelessly to create an atmosphere where people feel safe seeking faith.

Gateway is seeking out a non-traditional student pastor with three key qualifications:
• Team Player – This candidate must love Gateway, the staff and direction of our church. The student ministry will work very closely (like white on rice) with the children’s ministry (part of the NextGen team) and other ministries to propel students, leaders and families in the direction of the mission/vision of our church
• Team Builder – This candidate must recognize that 90% of the job is leading out through other adult teams. This student ministry will be run by a healthy team of volunteers, where staff don’t get in the way or do all the work.
• Family Focused – This candidate understands that every student represents an entire family made up of parents, brothers and sisters who all have a place at Gateway.
In addition, we recognized that when we partner with parents, regardless of how far they may be from God, our impact on students are exponentially greater.

If Gateway appeals to you and these qualifications sync with your experience and passion, we’d like to hear from you. We’re looking to fill this role as soon as the right person comes along.

Please submit your resume and application to hr@gatewaychurch.com
The application can be found on our website at www.gatewaychurch.com

• Too often we get kids committed to programs and people, but when they move on to college, the programs and people are gone… just like their faith. We need to be intentional in helping them develop an independent faith that isn’t program or personality dependent.
• Just because kids are showing up doesn’t mean they’re being discipled. Help kids learn to grow on their own.
• Reproducible discipleship is relational-based. One person cannot disciple everyone.
• Jesus discipled 12. He focused the most on 3. One of his disciples failed. There is a model here.
• When you give your volunteers your title, you win and your kids win. Don’t hang on to what you think it is that you’re supposed to do. Give it away. Empower others.
• Raise the value of your volunteers. When you’re encountered with issues and problems, you involve the leaders.
• (This is my favorite. The same is true in Kidmin, but so few see this) The bait and switch… you get involved in student ministry because you love kids and want to impact their lives, but to really be effective, you spend more time with leaders and parents. (So True)
• Failure, doubt and pain paves the way to spiritual growth. Let these opportunities kick open the doors for spiritual growth. Crave these opportunities. Look for these opportunities in the kids you lead. Our job is not to make kid’s lives easier, but to capitalize on the opportunities when they can grow in faith.
• Students can reproduce themselves. How do I use juniors and seniors to lead… when they normally begin to fade.
• Kids don’t remember your messages, they remember you. We have to be transparent with our personal journey. The kids we lead need to know that we’re still growing and that we don’t have it all together yet. Teenagers need to hear and know about where we’ve struggled and failed. When we do this, we give them hope.
• Tender in our response
• Motivate and maintain a climate of spiritual growth. Create a culture where parents and kids know that spiritual growth is important.  Be repetitive.
• Go Small. Pastors love big… families love small. Kids don’t grow in crowd meetings, they grow in small groups.
• Create and distribute spiritual growth resources. Don’t just give a man a fish, show him how to fish. Don’t just teach them how to fish. Give them the resources. One minute Bible.. best thing ever!
• If kids aren’t asking you questions about the Bible, they aren’t reading their Bible. Have them read it while on the toilet. (That sounds weird as I write this here… but it wasn’t so weird when Doug said it)
• If you want kids to journal. Give them a journal. If you want kids to memorize scripture, give them memory cards.
• Help teenagers discover their unique gifting/SHAPE

I was caught by surprise when a new declaration of personal independence was automatically assumed the day my son got his driver’s license. It was as though I represented an oppressive and extremely unfair regime whenever I tried to enforce any rule. (Whenever I said no to one of my teenage daughters, she would go to her bedroom, close the door and play Britney Spears’ “Overprotected” over and over again for over an hour, loud enough for me and the whole house to hear.) I have to admit, it was difficult for me to transition from parenting children to parenting teenagers. I had worked with teenagers all of my life, but I had never actually had any living in my home. I am still a recovering parent of teens, but here are a few things I have recognized about this chapter of parenting:

It’s a complicated time.
While your children are transitioning from being dependent to independent, you are transitioning as a parent from having authority to leveraging your influence. You can’t parent them the same way you did when they were in elementary school.

It’s an urgent time.
Face it. You know a window is closing fast. Ready or not, in a few short years your children will be leaving home. You are running out of time, and it is easy to feel a little panicked. Everything seems to matter more (grades, decisions, relationships.) And to make matters worse, everything costs more too. Have I mentioned the price of college these days? Feeling better?

Keep fighting for your teenager’s emotional health by investing in relational time with them. Especially during this uncertain season, they need a positive relationship with you more than you or they may realize. Here are a few things to remember that might help you make the time you spend with your teenager more meaningful:

• Find a common activity you can both enjoy.
Go to favorite restaurant, movie, or concert. Discover a hobby or a type of recreation you can do together. Find common interests. It only takes a few.

• Make sure there is no agenda.
They will see right through a masked motive and interpret your effort to hang out as manipulation. Don’t forget. This is about building your relationship. So don’t use this time to deal with issues. Guard the fun.

• Keep it outside the house.
You probably already spend most of your time together in your home. It can be full of duties, responsibilities, and distractions, so get out and do something that is a contrast to your normal routine.

• Do it without friends.
Anyone you add to your time will drastically change the dynamic. Give your teenager individual and undivided attention, without your friends or their friends, and even without siblings.

• Mutually agree to turn off cell phones.
Make at least part of your time a no-electronic zone. Phones have a way of distracting you from meaningful and engaging dialogue.

• Put it on the schedule (but not on a Friday).
Be sensitive to how a teenager wants to organize his or her life. Discover the rhythm that exists in their schedule and agree with them on the best times to hang out.

• Stay flexible (and be willing to reschedule frequently).
A teenager’s world is always changing. They could feel trapped if you are rigid about your scheduled time with them. Don’t let your time with them become a competition with their other interests and priorities. Avoid making them choose between you and something else they really want to do.

• Remember your goal is not to change them.
Avoid getting into conversations where you are trying to correct or improve a behavior. Save those conversations for another time. You can shut down a positive experience if you try to leverage it to fix something.

• Keep working at it.
Learning to communicate with those you love can be awkward at times. Strive to ask the right kind of questions and listen more than you talk. You are not trying to become your teen’s best friend, but you are laying an important foundation for the kind of friendship you want to enjoy with them during their adult years.

• Use it as an opportunity to give your teenager approval.
I’m amazed at how many adults left home without ever really feeling like their parents believed in them. Look for numerous opportunities to encourage their specific strengths and skills.

Having fun and spending quality time together is increasingly important as your relationship with your child changes. This week, find out what kind of activities your teenager likes, and schedule some intentional time together when you can simply enjoy being together.

And if you have other tips you’ve discovered about spending time with a teenage son or daughter, please post them in the comments so we can all learn from our shared experiences.

Reggie Joiner writes more at http://orangeparents.org and http://orangeleaders.com and that you can follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/reggiejoiner.

Today I’m promoting a great new site that hit the interwebs a little over a month ago. It’s called YouthLeaderStash.com. It’s a site run by the Student Pastor, Chad Swanzy at my church. Chad and his lovely wife Cat have been doing student ministry for a long time and this site is a virtual archive of games, talks, ideas and stuff they’ve come up with over the years. I’ll tell you this, Chad is one of the more creative guys I’ve known in student ministry and he’s got  some great stuff here.

I know, you’re probably thinking it. “But I’m not a ‘Youth Leader!’ What about a stash for kids?”

For that, visit my new site kidminleaderstash.com (just kidding Chad).

Seriously, there’s some great stuff here that’s totally transferable to Kidmin. So many great games that would work great in kid environment. So, check out the “stash” and pass the word. Tell your student pastor about the site, they’ll be glad you did. Maybe he will buy you lunch becasue of this great find. Yum!

If you haven’t registered yet for Orange, it’s not too late. I’m serious, you DON’ WANT TO MISS THIS CONFERENCE! It very well could change your trajectory for life and ministry.

Added bonus: Anyone who registers before April 8th can get into the preconference for half price! That’s huge! I never miss a preconference! Click here to register right now or click on the badge to the right!

I know I’ve already posted about Integrated Strategy today, but I had to share this. If you don’t read any more of my post (but you want to, don’t you?) click over here and read this post. It’s a post Chad Swanzy, my Student Pastor wrote of the weekend. Probably the best post I’ve read dealing with the conflict between student ministry and children’s ministry. Hands down the best post I’ve read about this from the student ministry perspective (maybe the only). It’s raw and honest. He asks some very poignant questions worth wrestling to the ground. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten more comments than he has already. So if you haven’t checked it out yet, do so now. My thoughts are below.

Chad verbalized the things student pastors and children’s pastors often think but never verbalize. His challenge at the end of the post was “Maybe as we get the junk out we can have real dialogue about it.”

He spoke of what we want versus what they want. They’re essentially the same. However, the junk comes in from differences in methodologies and points of view. I think my favorite line was:

You think we are irresponsible and reckless we think you’re over protective and hyper sensitive.

Integrated Strategy is about sitting down to the table and developing a strategy – together. However, it may be possible that some stuff needs to happen before we can start talking strategy. Maybe we need to try to see things from each others point of view. We don’t have to be best friends and do everything together, but I believe that we do need to trust each other. As a children’s pastor, I HAVE to trust my student pastor. I have to go beyond “giving him the benefit of the doubt” and believe in what he’s doing and his ability to do it. In the same respect, a student pastor has to respect me. He has to believe in me and trust that what I’m doing is effective and best for OUR kids. If any of that is missing, we’ll never do this strategy thing. We’ll never “integrate.”

This throws a lot more out there to be evaluated. If we truly believe that the best way to impact kids for the long haul is an integrated strategy, then what I said above has got to happen. If it can’t. If teams won’t play nice, then maybe it’s time to fine a place where you can. The next time your church is hiring a student pastor, demand to be a part of the interview process. Same for the student pastors.

Put that in you pipe and smoke it.

All I can say is… Awkward Side Hug!

And what’s up with that creepy puppet at 2.24? Was that some kind of sub-conscious reference to Children’s Ministry?