If you didn’t catch it yet, read my first post about not being stupid yesterday. This series is a no nonsense approach about compromising situations that may cost you everything.
Disclaimer: I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. That’s okay. Feel free to comment and let me know why you disagree. I may disagree with you further or we may just agree to disagree. That’s okay. Many of the things I’m addressing in my posts are my opinions and my personal rules and philosophies. Do with them what you want.
But here’s what is most important. You’re too important to throw it all away. There aren’t enough of us doing what we do and to lose you becasue of a compromising (stupid) situation makes me angry. The things I write about might “cramp your style.” So what. This world needs you too much. We can’t afford to lose you to sexual misconduct or even just an allegation. Your calling is too precious. We protect the things that are important to us. Likewise, we should be more protective of our callings.
You may not change anything you do after reading this, but hopefully it will cause you to at least rethink the way you approach certain situations. The enemy is looking for ANYTHING to remove you and your influence. Don’t give him an opportunity.
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Good post. I agree. Run from temptation, etc…
My only thought is that you don’t need to apologize for cramping people’s style. Don’t apologize for being direct. Looking at the prophets and God’s voice through others like yourself, they never said, “sorry for possibly hurting your feelings.”
Continue to be clear and direct. All truth from God is good truth. Your are a great leader. Don’t be afraid to be direct without apology; it is Christ-like.
It’s the southerner in me. We’re extra polite and tend to sweeten our words when possible. 🙂
Interested to find out if this series of posts is going to get a lot of traction on a “kidmin” blog.
Most of your readership is probably female (seeing as how the vast majority of kidmin leaders are women) and, I’d imagine, though sexual misconduct is something that we should all avoid… the opinions and personal rules you address will probably be aimed at a male audience.
I’ll definately keep my eyes on the blog, though.
Young guys like us (though, admittedly, some of us are younger than others) need to take this topic seriously as we set the pulse and rhythm for our next few decades in ministry positions.
Thanks for tackling what can be a touchy subject.
.-= Anthony Prince´s last blog ..The Big Announcementâ€¦ a year in advance! =-.
Yeah, several things in my “Don’t be Stupid” will apply more to men than to women, yet there should be some things that apply both ways. What’s that saying to us that at “Don’t be Stupid” series applies to us men most. Hmmmm. I’m actually curious about my demographics here. I’d imagine that there may be more women, but how many more I don’t know. That will be an experiment for another day.
I agree with you 98%. I disagree with the statement, “even just an allegation”. It is impossible to protect ourselves from false allegations. We need to be able to easily refute them, but people will make attacks on you and your character. In fact, as a leader, you need to be aware that you are more in the crosshairs for allegations that will attempt to take you down.
My 2 cents.
Maybe it’s semantics. You can’t always eliminate allegations but you can greatly reduce them. I don’t ride in cars alone with other women (something I’ll talk about tomorrow). If I did decide to ride in a car with a woman, it doesn’t mean I’m having an affair. However, me choosing to do so could open the door for allegations. So, buy creating the rule for myself, I reduce the possibility of both me going down that slippery slope and opening the door for false allegations based on perceptions.
Sorry for the blank comment…hit the return key too quickly. Sorry.
1st Tim. 3:2 says that we should live in a way that allegations should not be able to take root as we live in accountability with those around us (Spouse included).
I know we will be in the crosshairs, but the Armor of God will protect as long as we keep our end of the committed life in Christ. Any compromise (back to the original post by Ryan Frank) can give opportunity for allegations to be brought forth.
Ah. I guess I was arguing semantics, then. You can’t prevent false allegations, but you can insure that they have no soil in which to take root.