I’m a very confident person. I had some life-changing moments in High School where I came out with a strong sense of purpose and solid confidence. For this I’m grateful. Too many people struggle (especially in High School) with confidence issues. I wasn’t one of those. On the other hand, I wouldn’t ever really consider myself a flashy person or a “show off.” I’ve seen people who are “full of themselves” and I’m always wary to not be like that. It’s really not me. I’m very confident in who I am, what I’m capable of and what I’ve done in the past and I consider these a gift from God. However, I know what I have the potential for. Although I’ve always tried to show humility, I know the thoughts I’ve had. I’ve compared myself to others and have inwardly gloated over successes. I’ve been very proud of myself to have gotten as far as I have at such a young age. We all have those secret thoughts that we’re so glad we people can’t read minds. Guilty here!
Since I lost my job back in November, I’ve been using the word “transition” a lot. Why? Because it sounds better than unemployed. It sounds more like something I initiated rather than had forced upon me. Ultimately, its a man with a wounded ego trying to explain himself. Funny how we act this way at times.
Here’s the deal. I don’t know if I believe everything happens for a reason. Certainly God knows everything that is going to happen, but I don’t know if I believe he’s the puppet master making everything happen just the way they do. Do I believe I was let go so that God could teach me a lesson in humility? No. Am I learning a lesson in humility? YES! Trust me, explaining the situation as to how I got to where I am right now is very frustrating. Although there is a very logical explanation for the layoff and my experience, resume and ministry results speak for themselves… it’s just a lot more difficult to be in the position that I am.
Here’s what I’m learning though. I know God really does have something incredible for me… even if it isn’t exactly what I was expecting. For the past several months, I’ve been able to have more quantity and quality time with my wife and little boy. I’ve been able to travel more in the past 3 months than I have in the past 3 years. I’ve also had time to refresh and refocus on the job before me. Right now I feel more prepared for the next phase of ministry. What a great deal, huh? Oh. I’m also learning that you are, in fact, better than me! (Phil 2:3)
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