The phrase “hindsight is always 20/20” is one of my favorite phrases because I’ve seen it to be so true in my life. On more occasions than I can count, I’ve been in the dark valley. You know, the place of loneliness, frustration and despair. However, I’ve been doing this long enough now to know that I’m only going to be in the valley for a little while. I know that the situation will resolve itself and in time, I’ll have a clearer understanding of why I was there or what was actually happening – all things I couldn’t grasp while in the dark valley.
Eight years ago, I was let go from an amazing job. It wasn’t a performance thing, but there was a relational issue between me an two of the people picking who was going to be laid off. I was shocked. Never in a million years did I ever think I would laid off. I experienced all the emotions associated with this kind of change. It took at least an entire year to fully heal from that experience, but it took 2-3 years to learn something I couldn’t see in the moment. Me being let go was God’s plan for me. I hadn’t been happy in my current job and the PERFECT job was months away from becoming available and there’s no way I would have even known about the opportunity if I hadn’t been unemployed when the job became available. Though hindsight, I can see that God lovingly made me available for a dream job. God is faithful.
As a young man, the thing I probably wanted more than anything was a large family. I wanted to be married with 6 or more kids. I’d joke with people that my dream car was a 15 passenger van. I loved my job as a children’s pastor, but I knew that pastoring a child is only a hint of being a father. I knew I was “called” to be a dad. The more kids I could have, the more kids I could pastor. Then just a few years ago, I found myself as the father of one son with at least 5 miscarriages. The big family I had always dreamed of felt like it wasn’t going to happen. I felt hopeless. Less than a week after our 5th miscarriage, I had the opportunity to officiate my great-aunt’s funeral. God gave me a picture that brought me unbelievable comfort. I saw my great-aunt, who I loved so much, holding my little baby that I didn’t get to meet. I shared this picture at the funeral and it touched so many people. But it was this picture that brought hindsight. All I wanted was a big family and I was frustrated because things we’re turning out the way I had hoped. What I couldn’t see is that God was answering my prayers… just a little delayed. I’m the father more than 8 kids, some I just won’t meet until the other side. God is faithful.
Over and over again, the one thing I’ve found is this, that God is faithful. It’s hard to see in the dark valley, but it’s nearly always found in the rearview mirror.
So, wherever you find yourself today – whatever situation, know that God is working on your behalf. He is faithful and you’ll see it to be true a little further down the road. Life is so challenging. Ministry is overwhelming and frustrating. Hang in there, because God is at work. God is faithful. You just need to wait for hindsight and you’ll see it!
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Wow! Thanks for sharing the very personal glimpse into your life and journey!!